Why I ask for this. Why I thank you when you give it to me.

When I ask you to hurt me and you hurt me, I feel:

1. Understood and accepted. Even though it’s strange and complicated, you think that what I want is ok, even good. 
2.  Respected and trusted. You believe that I know what I want, that I can take this, that I will set good boundaries to keep us both healthy.
3.  Loved. You care enough to give me what I’m asking for. You want it too. You want my reactions, my pain, my self. 
4. Yours. Yours and yours.

When I ask you to hurt me and you hurt me, I get to:

1. Demonstrate my trust and love. I know that you will pay close attention and do all you can to keep us both safe. By suffering for you, I share something powerful with you and show you the lengths I would go to on your behalf. 
2. Feed my submission. With each minute that passes in which my nerve endings and instincts demand that it stops, and my will chooses that it continue because you’re not done yet, the deepest parts of me understand better that they belong to you.
3. Discover my strength. You help me feel out the edges of what I think of as my limits, and find that there’s far more to explore than I realized. 
4. Sigh, grimace, groan, shudder, cry, laugh, grin, writhe. Be, in a way so different from the everyday.