Many (most?) FLR couples have some arrangement involving money. If you’ve decided to keep money out of it, that’s perfectly fine, and you can skip to the next article. What follows is some advice about how to deal with this aspect of the FLR for those who want money to be part of it.
Why would anyone want to involve a complicated thing like money in what can be rightly seen as a playful arrangement grounded in sexual kink? Well, off the top of my head I can think of several reasons:
I could go on. It’s mostly a psychological thing, with the very nice side-effect that you will get more money to spend on yourself.
As I mentioned earlier, I feel it’s important to keep things “safe” by only using liquid funds (if that’s the right term) as a tool in your FLR. What I mean by that is that he can transfer (parts of) the money from paychecks, bonuses and similar purely money-based things to your account, for you to spend as you see fit. He should not transfer any significant assets, like houses/property, cars/boats, stocks etc. to your name. Relationships do end, and things could get very messy if he has transferred something valuable to you in a teased/denied state of euphoria, that he didn’t actually want to part with. So keep things simple by sticking to “spending money”.
The simplest approach is for him to simply transfer his paycheck to your account as it arrives. Then you can redistribute it as you see fit. If you barely have enough money between you to pay the bills, there won’t be much left to play with - which will take away most of the fun in him transferring his money to you. So now may be a good time to start getting your finances in order.
Assuming there is something left over when the bills are paid, you should give him an allowance. This can be as large as you like, of course, but psychologically it can be rewarding for both of you if he has to ask you for more money to buy anything other than the bare essentials. After all, he probably doesn’t really need another power tool. Whereas you can buy anything you want, whenever you want, with (at least partially) his money, provided there is enough of it. This can be quite nice…
Many couples also enjoy challenging him to earn more money as part of the FLR - it becomes his duty to provide you with more money to spend on yourself, in essence. I have adviced against including “life” choices like those conserning his career in earlier articles, but done responsibly and willingly this can be quite a nice motivation for him to climb the career ladder. Importantly, this only influences his career in a positive way. This is one of the many ways to harness the additional energy and focus he will gain by living in an FLR relationship, to improve your lives in a completely non-sexual/kink area.
Of course, just because you control the entire family’s income doesn’t mean you have to spend everything that’s left after the bills are paid on pampering yourself. Maybe you feel that luxury items are pointless and wasteful, maybe you get enough pampering in other areas, maybe you just don’t feel like it. That’s perfectly fine, of course. The point is that it’s up to you, and it’s not wrong (in a relationship sense) to spend it on luxury for yourself, in fact he will probably love it if you do, but you can choose to do other things with it. Save it, spend it on your children, or treat him to something nice.
One word of warning, though. Many men go into an arrangement about money precisely because they want their woman to spend lots of it on herself - maybe that’s the whole point. If so, he might not be comfortable with you spending it on relatives, charities and other beneficiaries that are “invisible” to him. Make absolutely sure you are on the same page about this, and respect his feelings about it - you really don’t want money to harm your relationship.
Why would anyone want to involve a complicated thing like money in what can be rightly seen as a playful arrangement grounded in sexual kink? Well, off the top of my head I can think of several reasons:
- It reinforces the feeling of the female deciding everything
- It is a natural continuation of the whole pampering thing
- It feels totally unfair to him, but in that very sexy way
- It powerfully plays on gender roles
I could go on. It’s mostly a psychological thing, with the very nice side-effect that you will get more money to spend on yourself.
As I mentioned earlier, I feel it’s important to keep things “safe” by only using liquid funds (if that’s the right term) as a tool in your FLR. What I mean by that is that he can transfer (parts of) the money from paychecks, bonuses and similar purely money-based things to your account, for you to spend as you see fit. He should not transfer any significant assets, like houses/property, cars/boats, stocks etc. to your name. Relationships do end, and things could get very messy if he has transferred something valuable to you in a teased/denied state of euphoria, that he didn’t actually want to part with. So keep things simple by sticking to “spending money”.
The simplest approach is for him to simply transfer his paycheck to your account as it arrives. Then you can redistribute it as you see fit. If you barely have enough money between you to pay the bills, there won’t be much left to play with - which will take away most of the fun in him transferring his money to you. So now may be a good time to start getting your finances in order.
Assuming there is something left over when the bills are paid, you should give him an allowance. This can be as large as you like, of course, but psychologically it can be rewarding for both of you if he has to ask you for more money to buy anything other than the bare essentials. After all, he probably doesn’t really need another power tool. Whereas you can buy anything you want, whenever you want, with (at least partially) his money, provided there is enough of it. This can be quite nice…
Many couples also enjoy challenging him to earn more money as part of the FLR - it becomes his duty to provide you with more money to spend on yourself, in essence. I have adviced against including “life” choices like those conserning his career in earlier articles, but done responsibly and willingly this can be quite a nice motivation for him to climb the career ladder. Importantly, this only influences his career in a positive way. This is one of the many ways to harness the additional energy and focus he will gain by living in an FLR relationship, to improve your lives in a completely non-sexual/kink area.
One word of warning, though. Many men go into an arrangement about money precisely because they want their woman to spend lots of it on herself - maybe that’s the whole point. If so, he might not be comfortable with you spending it on relatives, charities and other beneficiaries that are “invisible” to him. Make absolutely sure you are on the same page about this, and respect his feelings about it - you really don’t want money to harm your relationship.
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