Submissive does not mean doormat. You’re no less worthy than anybody else, even if you want to be. Submissive does not necessarily mean weak, stupid, desperate or gullible and it certainly doesn’t mean unquestioning. You can submit in any way you wish, so don’t get stuck thinking there’s only one way or that you can’t say no.
I doubt I’m going to alter anyone’s self perception here. What I think I can do is motivate subs to start behaving differently and hopefully start altering their own perceptions of themselves. Here’s the critical fact: No dom/domme wants a sub to be a pushover right ‘out of the box’. Not a single one. If you want to meet that special someone you’re going to have to stop thinking ‘what do I have to do to deserve’ and start being someone who they’d be lucky to have in their lives (or at least try).
How do you become that person? Do whatever gives you self esteem and causes you to grow as a human being. You don’t need to be good at these things as long as you’re progressing in them. For me it’s mostly tied up in my physical ability but I think knowledge, intelligence and social skills are equally important.
Here’s a shocker. Doms/dommes are normal people like you. They share the same fears and aspirations as any other human being. Why not try connecting with them on a human level first?
What I’m saying here might not sound nearly as sexy as a degrading punishment fuck, but I can guarantee the potential payoff is a thousand times more rewarding.
I should also mention that if anybody wants to talk about this subject all my channels are open to you so feel free. You won’t be judged and your privacy will be respected.
How do you become that person? Do whatever gives you self esteem and causes you to grow as a human being. You don’t need to be good at these things as long as you’re progressing in them. For me it’s mostly tied up in my physical ability but I think knowledge, intelligence and social skills are equally important.
Here’s a shocker. Doms/dommes are normal people like you. They share the same fears and aspirations as any other human being. Why not try connecting with them on a human level first?
Whatever you do don’t start off with play, it’s the D/s equivalent of whapping your naughty bits out at a stranger and demanding oral pleasure. In this spirit try to separate the play you from the every day you. You’re going to have to charm a person first and then offer your submission when the time is right.
Before you do anything discuss in depth what their expectations are and think very carefully about what you’re willing to do. I promise that if you say you’re ‘up for anything’ you’re going to impress no-one and will likely regret it later on, so don’t be afraid to set limits. As a 24/7 service and lifestyle sub who hates to say no I take this very seriously, because once I bend the knee there’s no going back. Here’s another promise: If you do this you won’t just feel safer in the relationship, you’ll enjoy it much more too.
And here’s another shocker. Submission isn’t passive. You’re not just doing as your told, you’re anticipating and innovating to please someone. Look for cues from your dom/domme and follow them, but never expect to be a robot following a set of commands. Have ideas and talk about them. I should mention the polar opposite of sub-robot is a needy, demanding sub who’s always trying to get their immediate desires fulfilled in very specific ways. Don’t be that person, you give the rest of us a bad name and you’re unlikely to get your needs met like that anyway.
And because I love a summary:
Before you do anything discuss in depth what their expectations are and think very carefully about what you’re willing to do. I promise that if you say you’re ‘up for anything’ you’re going to impress no-one and will likely regret it later on, so don’t be afraid to set limits. As a 24/7 service and lifestyle sub who hates to say no I take this very seriously, because once I bend the knee there’s no going back. Here’s another promise: If you do this you won’t just feel safer in the relationship, you’ll enjoy it much more too.
And here’s another shocker. Submission isn’t passive. You’re not just doing as your told, you’re anticipating and innovating to please someone. Look for cues from your dom/domme and follow them, but never expect to be a robot following a set of commands. Have ideas and talk about them. I should mention the polar opposite of sub-robot is a needy, demanding sub who’s always trying to get their immediate desires fulfilled in very specific ways. Don’t be that person, you give the rest of us a bad name and you’re unlikely to get your needs met like that anyway.
And because I love a summary:
- No matter what you think of yourself or how you submit, don’t forget you’re fucking awesome and deserve good things in your life.
- If a dom/domme is toxic or is making unreasonable demands it doesn’t make you any less of a sub when you tell them to suck it and walk away.
- Your beau is not an alien creature. Try to connect with them on a human level.
- Thoughtfulness and initiative are the two greatest qualities a sub can have.
- Treat submission like sex and never ever force it on someone who hasn’t asked for it loud and clear.
- Set limits and make sure you both stick to them. Shit can get really crazy if you don’t.
- Be yourself, not some idea of what a sub should be. Have you forgotten that you’re fucking awesome already?
- Did I mention that you’re fucking awesome? You take pleasure in making other people happy and that deserves to be appreciated.
What I’m saying here might not sound nearly as sexy as a degrading punishment fuck, but I can guarantee the potential payoff is a thousand times more rewarding.
I should also mention that if anybody wants to talk about this subject all my channels are open to you so feel free. You won’t be judged and your privacy will be respected.
No comments:
Post a Comment