First, let’s define what we’re talking about. By “kink” I mean everything that is somehow related to sex and not considered mainstream. Something that might shock (at least superficially) your friends and family, to be a little facetious. Fetishes, BDSM, role-reversals - that sort of thing.
“Oh boy, here we go,” you may be thinking. “I’m not one of those people.” While this feeling is understandable, especially if you’re completely new to even thinking about such topics, I would advice you to keep an open mind, keep reading, and see if it grows on you. I was very skeptical, too, but have come to love this aspect of our relationship.
I’ll address this article to some hypothetical woman who is quite skepcital about all matters of kink, and almost entirely inexperienced. This will perhaps make the article a little apologetical in tone, while I try to convince this hypothetical skeptic of the joys in a healthy dose of kink. Try to keep this in mind if you have some experience with this, or are already open-minded about it. We already know that it’s a really fun and rewarding part of the relationship, I just have to turn this woman around, you know? OK, enough set-up.
There’s a tiny chance that your man is not at all interested in anything kinky and just want to serve you from an entirely altruistic and non-sexual place. But most men who want to live in an FLR have a medium to strong interest in such things, and they probably hope for it to be an integral part of your relationship going forward. Which can be a good thing, trust me.
If you’re lucky and your man is quite flexible in terms of the types of kink he will enjoy, he mostly just wants something that is a little on the kinky side. That leaves a lot of room for you to find some things that you enjoy, or that excite you, or that you are at least comfortable with. Great, go with that!
If, on the other hand, your man has very specific kinks that you hate and won’t be satisfied unless you engage in them with him several times a week, then you may have a problem. If this is you then, honestly, I don’t know what to tell you - it may be difficult to make this work. It happens, and it’s not the end of the world. You might be better off going back to your old relationship.
Hopefully, you’ll eventually find that there is some common ground, and that you are at least a little bit interested in exploring this. So let’s look at some common kinks in FLR relationships. Now’s the time to put on your brave face if you’re the prudish type. It might help if I mention that we’re not at all into several of these kinks, but I still want to list the most common ones, so you aren’t totally unprepared if your man tells you he wants to wear your underwear.
“Oh boy, here we go,” you may be thinking. “I’m not one of those people.” While this feeling is understandable, especially if you’re completely new to even thinking about such topics, I would advice you to keep an open mind, keep reading, and see if it grows on you. I was very skeptical, too, but have come to love this aspect of our relationship.
I’ll address this article to some hypothetical woman who is quite skepcital about all matters of kink, and almost entirely inexperienced. This will perhaps make the article a little apologetical in tone, while I try to convince this hypothetical skeptic of the joys in a healthy dose of kink. Try to keep this in mind if you have some experience with this, or are already open-minded about it. We already know that it’s a really fun and rewarding part of the relationship, I just have to turn this woman around, you know? OK, enough set-up.
There’s a tiny chance that your man is not at all interested in anything kinky and just want to serve you from an entirely altruistic and non-sexual place. But most men who want to live in an FLR have a medium to strong interest in such things, and they probably hope for it to be an integral part of your relationship going forward. Which can be a good thing, trust me.
If you’re lucky and your man is quite flexible in terms of the types of kink he will enjoy, he mostly just wants something that is a little on the kinky side. That leaves a lot of room for you to find some things that you enjoy, or that excite you, or that you are at least comfortable with. Great, go with that!
If, on the other hand, your man has very specific kinks that you hate and won’t be satisfied unless you engage in them with him several times a week, then you may have a problem. If this is you then, honestly, I don’t know what to tell you - it may be difficult to make this work. It happens, and it’s not the end of the world. You might be better off going back to your old relationship.
Hopefully, you’ll eventually find that there is some common ground, and that you are at least a little bit interested in exploring this. So let’s look at some common kinks in FLR relationships. Now’s the time to put on your brave face if you’re the prudish type. It might help if I mention that we’re not at all into several of these kinks, but I still want to list the most common ones, so you aren’t totally unprepared if your man tells you he wants to wear your underwear.
CHASTITY PLAY
If you’ve read the article on orgasm control, and followed my advice about using a chastity device on your man, you’re already living the kink lifestyle. Congratulations! It may have seemed like a small step, but for many men it’s the one big thing they need. Sure, they’d like more kink in their life, but the chastity device goes a long way towards fulfilling them in this regard. Others desire more, of course.
If you’ve read the article on orgasm control, and followed my advice about using a chastity device on your man, you’re already living the kink lifestyle. Congratulations! It may have seemed like a small step, but for many men it’s the one big thing they need. Sure, they’d like more kink in their life, but the chastity device goes a long way towards fulfilling them in this regard. Others desire more, of course.
FOOT WORSHIP
Activities involving the woman’s feet and the man’s mouth are very common in FLR relationships, even when neither the man or woman consider themselves foot fetishists. The reason is probably that it is such a powerful psychological reminder of the man’s new status. Not only has his traditional masculine power been stripped away, he is now reduced to a creature who has to lick feet and suck on toes. It also plays on the dirtyness of feet, the proximity to the floor relative to her Queen-like stature etc. As I’ve mentioned earlier, this is something we do on a daily basis, and I now have a hard time picturing my life without it.
Activities involving the woman’s feet and the man’s mouth are very common in FLR relationships, even when neither the man or woman consider themselves foot fetishists. The reason is probably that it is such a powerful psychological reminder of the man’s new status. Not only has his traditional masculine power been stripped away, he is now reduced to a creature who has to lick feet and suck on toes. It also plays on the dirtyness of feet, the proximity to the floor relative to her Queen-like stature etc. As I’ve mentioned earlier, this is something we do on a daily basis, and I now have a hard time picturing my life without it.
QUEENING/FACE-SITTING
Queening and face-sitting are mostly the same thing, as far as I can tell. Both refer to the woman, sitting on the male’s face, often grinding her exposed pussy and ass into his face. The man is often asked to lick the pussy and/or ass while being queened, but not always - sometimes the mere sitting is the point. The woman often plays with the man’s nipples, penis and/or balls while queening him. Most FLR men find this activity comparable to going to heaven. We do it a lot.
Queening and face-sitting are mostly the same thing, as far as I can tell. Both refer to the woman, sitting on the male’s face, often grinding her exposed pussy and ass into his face. The man is often asked to lick the pussy and/or ass while being queened, but not always - sometimes the mere sitting is the point. The woman often plays with the man’s nipples, penis and/or balls while queening him. Most FLR men find this activity comparable to going to heaven. We do it a lot.
FEMINIZATION
Some FLR men have fantasies related to being feminized, meaning “forced” to wear women’s underwear, wear make-up etc. This can be especially powerful when combined with other kink/FLR activities, like pegging, housework etc. Some women also enjoy this, especially if they are turned on by “turning the tables” when it comes to gender roles, whereas others hate it with a passion. It’s not something we practice.
Some FLR men have fantasies related to being feminized, meaning “forced” to wear women’s underwear, wear make-up etc. This can be especially powerful when combined with other kink/FLR activities, like pegging, housework etc. Some women also enjoy this, especially if they are turned on by “turning the tables” when it comes to gender roles, whereas others hate it with a passion. It’s not something we practice.
SISSIFICATION
This literally refers to the man being treated as and called a sissy, in many different ways. It’s basically a play on his masculinity. The appeal is that it lets the man live out some very unmasculine sides, which can be a great relief, especially if he is expected to be very assertive and masculine in other areas. This type of play can seem very cruel and brutal to an onlooker, but is almost always done with a great deal of love and respect for each other. We dabble in it from time to time.
This literally refers to the man being treated as and called a sissy, in many different ways. It’s basically a play on his masculinity. The appeal is that it lets the man live out some very unmasculine sides, which can be a great relief, especially if he is expected to be very assertive and masculine in other areas. This type of play can seem very cruel and brutal to an onlooker, but is almost always done with a great deal of love and respect for each other. We dabble in it from time to time.
PEGGING/STRAP-ON PLAY
Pegging refers to the specific act of the woman performing anal sex on the male using a strap-on. The main other thing to do to the man with a strap-on is have him suck on it. Both activities are powerful forms of role-reversal, they let the woman explore the power that men have traditionally held as the one taking the woman, and they are also a play on his possibly hidden desire to be “forced” to have sex with other men. Most experienced FLR women would probably agree that it’s something you should do at least once, or occasionally, just so he knows what it’s like to be taken, and as a sort of “crossing the point of no return” in terms of being the straight-up assertive heterosexual that he once was.
Pegging refers to the specific act of the woman performing anal sex on the male using a strap-on. The main other thing to do to the man with a strap-on is have him suck on it. Both activities are powerful forms of role-reversal, they let the woman explore the power that men have traditionally held as the one taking the woman, and they are also a play on his possibly hidden desire to be “forced” to have sex with other men. Most experienced FLR women would probably agree that it’s something you should do at least once, or occasionally, just so he knows what it’s like to be taken, and as a sort of “crossing the point of no return” in terms of being the straight-up assertive heterosexual that he once was.
BDSM
Also just called S&M or D/s. Most of the activities I have mentioned so far would fall under the BDSM umbrella, but it is very common to incorporate certain generic elements of BDSM in an FLR relationship, specifically sadism and masochism. One could argue that the whole arrangement is rooted in certain forms of sadism and masochism. Verbal “abuse”, inflicting (and enjoying) pain, master/slave-like roles - these are common elements in FLR relationships too.
Also just called S&M or D/s. Most of the activities I have mentioned so far would fall under the BDSM umbrella, but it is very common to incorporate certain generic elements of BDSM in an FLR relationship, specifically sadism and masochism. One could argue that the whole arrangement is rooted in certain forms of sadism and masochism. Verbal “abuse”, inflicting (and enjoying) pain, master/slave-like roles - these are common elements in FLR relationships too.
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