A safeword is and should be used in all BDSM dynamics to mean that the submissive is reaching a limit and the Dom should stop the scene-play. Safewords are a word or series of words agreed on before beginning any scene. Accordingly, a safeword is usually a word that the submissive would not ordinarily say during a scene, such as pineapple, bananas and the color red.
Some Dominant’s prefer to use the color system. Red, Yellow, and Green. By using this approach a Dominant can check-in with the submissive and see how he/she is doing. Green meaning “I’m Fine continue” Yellow meaning “ Please slow down, I’m nearing my limits” and lastly Red which would put an immediate stop to the scene.
Another form of a safe-word is a safe signal. A signal can and must be agreed on in the even the submissive is non-verbal (I.e gagged or in sub space). In this scenario the submissive can be holding a object that can make a sound and he/she can squeeze a pre-determined number of times to indicate that they are OK to procede. If the signal is not received, the scene must stop.
It is important that the submissive be aware that using a safe-word does NOT make them weak. Do NOT fear using the safe-word when necessary. A scene is not a test to see how far you can go before you crack. It’s a mutual enjoyable experience and it is built on trust.
The Dominant trusts the submissive to alert them when they are in distress and can not physically and mentally continue. The submissive trusts the Dominant to be vigilant in all scenes.
Dominant’s remain vigilant by checking in on their submissive’s whether it is using the color system or by examining their bodies, how the submissive moves, how they breath, how they wince, and more. Keeping in mind that it takes time to learn from each other.
Do you have a safe-word in your dynamics? Do you feel this is necessary?
Some Dominant’s prefer to use the color system. Red, Yellow, and Green. By using this approach a Dominant can check-in with the submissive and see how he/she is doing. Green meaning “I’m Fine continue” Yellow meaning “ Please slow down, I’m nearing my limits” and lastly Red which would put an immediate stop to the scene.
Another form of a safe-word is a safe signal. A signal can and must be agreed on in the even the submissive is non-verbal (I.e gagged or in sub space). In this scenario the submissive can be holding a object that can make a sound and he/she can squeeze a pre-determined number of times to indicate that they are OK to procede. If the signal is not received, the scene must stop.
It is important that the submissive be aware that using a safe-word does NOT make them weak. Do NOT fear using the safe-word when necessary. A scene is not a test to see how far you can go before you crack. It’s a mutual enjoyable experience and it is built on trust.
The Dominant trusts the submissive to alert them when they are in distress and can not physically and mentally continue. The submissive trusts the Dominant to be vigilant in all scenes.
Dominant’s remain vigilant by checking in on their submissive’s whether it is using the color system or by examining their bodies, how the submissive moves, how they breath, how they wince, and more. Keeping in mind that it takes time to learn from each other.
Do you have a safe-word in your dynamics? Do you feel this is necessary?
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