The following was written by Elise Sutton about male submission, and the desire for male submission, and the admonition for women to realize that the desire for submission is NOT going to just go away. This is used without permission, but I hope that Ms. Sutton will forgive me for using this (definitely attributed to her) because it’s very eloquently written, I couldn’t say it better myself, and it definitely gets to the crux of the issue when men and women are dealing with these important issues (and I hope is free advertising for her excellent work!).
If you’d like to read more, buy her books: “Female Domination: An exploration of the male desire for Loving Female Authority,” written in 2003, which looks at the psychology of what and why men want to be submissive to women, where it comes from (she suspects, as do I from my own experience, that the seeds are planted at a very young age…I discovered this when I was four or five years old), and this book, “The Femdom Experience,” published in 2006, which looks at the widely varied and colored “blanket” that makes up what would be commonly called “The Femdom Experience.” Both of these are VERY good reads (and EASY…I read both of these in an afternoon…then again, I AM a speed-reader), and should be in the library of any woman contemplating a switch from a more “vanilla” lifestyle and stepping over into the Dark Side, and any man trying to figure out how he can be so commanding in his outward, public life, but tends to drop into submission in private.
Again, these are sited without permission…if you want the full text you’re going to have to buy the books!!!!
“A healthy relationship and a fulfilling sex life will not happen by chance. It takes both communication and action. FemDom is a sexuality that primarily resides in the mind but it takes action in order for those desires to become a reality…(pg. 9 The FemDom Experience, Elise Sutton, 2006)”
If you’d like to read more, buy her books: “Female Domination: An exploration of the male desire for Loving Female Authority,” written in 2003, which looks at the psychology of what and why men want to be submissive to women, where it comes from (she suspects, as do I from my own experience, that the seeds are planted at a very young age…I discovered this when I was four or five years old), and this book, “The Femdom Experience,” published in 2006, which looks at the widely varied and colored “blanket” that makes up what would be commonly called “The Femdom Experience.” Both of these are VERY good reads (and EASY…I read both of these in an afternoon…then again, I AM a speed-reader), and should be in the library of any woman contemplating a switch from a more “vanilla” lifestyle and stepping over into the Dark Side, and any man trying to figure out how he can be so commanding in his outward, public life, but tends to drop into submission in private.
Again, these are sited without permission…if you want the full text you’re going to have to buy the books!!!!
“A healthy relationship and a fulfilling sex life will not happen by chance. It takes both communication and action. FemDom is a sexuality that primarily resides in the mind but it takes action in order for those desires to become a reality…(pg. 9 The FemDom Experience, Elise Sutton, 2006)”
“The FemDom experience gives the woman the upper hand. Once the male has confessed his desire to be dominated, a wise woman will take charge. The dominant woman will remind the man that he must prove he is worthy of her and he must prove his submission in the domestic and the social if he expects the honor of serving her in the sexual. If wearing a little leather and using a whip will motivate a man to treat his wife or girlfriend like a Queen and will cause him to submit to her authority, than it would be foolish for the woman not to explore the male submissive nature. A marriage is meant to be a win/win relationship where both partners are fulfilled by giving to each other.
“So the woman who dominates a man in the bedroom is giving him what he needs in order to provide him with the motivation that he needs to give the woman what she needs and deserves, both inside and outside the bedroom. The male wants to treat a woman like a Queen. He wants to submit to the woman in his life and he craves to worship her. But it is up to the woman to lead him where he wants to go. By doing this, the female will experience much fulfillment and much satisfaction. (Pg. 18)”
“There is a submissive desire within men that cannot resist a powerful woman. This desire is sexual but it is also touches the psyche (soul) and the spiritual sides of man. Men know that women are not their equals, no matter how politically correct our society tries to be. Women are different and mysterious to men. Women are sexual in a way that men do not understand. Women have a power that men do not understand and men cannot resist.
“Submitting to a woman means to worship a woman, to adore a woman, to truly love a woman. Submitting to a woman means to serve awoman with a humble heart. A man’s fetishes and D&S desires are merely the expressions of his longing for loving female authority. Men need to be disciplined. Men desire to be dominated sexually, mentally and emotionally by the female gender. Women are naturally dominant and can fulfill this need within men if they can overcome societal programming and expectations. (Pg. 22 The FemDom Experience, Elise Sutton, 2006)”
“The male submissive nature craves to be dominated by the female gender. It is an earnest desire and an intense longing. A longing is an appetite which must be fed in order to be satisfied, but that satisfaction is temporary, thus the feeding must become a lifestyle in order to maintain fulfillment and satisfaction. Fantasy feeds the cravings of the submissive nature of a man, but it is not substantial enough to satisfy. In fact, fantasy increases the appetite for domination rather than fulfilling its cravings. It takes the FemDom experience to satisfy the male longing for domination, and it takes a loving female authority to truly satisfy the male submissive nature.
“To crave that which cannot be satisfied is a perverted form of desire, better known as lust. Passion and desire are healthy, but lust can be destructive because it is a never-ending quest, which will never be fulfilled. Lust is a perverted form of desire because Nature implants desire into one’s disposition in order to drive that person in a particular direction. Passion is good for it leads to romance, sex, and love. The male submissive desire is good because it leads the male to the realization of his need to be in submission to the female gender, and his need to be under the control of a loving female authority. No matter how unusual, bizarre, or outrageous the manifestation of the male submissive nature, the root of that nature is a desire for loving female authority. Fantasy is a wonderful creation of the human imagination, and its expression often reflects the inner desires of man, but fantasy, void of reality, can change desire over to lust, thus that desire can never be satisfied or fulfilled because man lives in reality. Fantasy can be a wonderful escape from reality, but the inner nature of man craves actual fulfillment, which can only occur with experience, which can only exist in reality.
“Fantasy can whet the appetite for the FemDom experience and thus be a valuable tool in the development of the submissive nature of man. But the creative expressions of man’s desires must at some point and time intersect with reality. The male’s needs and desires must be reconciled with the female nature and the female’s needs and desires. The craving of the male submissive nature drives the male to the realization of his need to be in submission to the female gender. Fantasy can assist this journey but only an actual experience or better yet, an actual lifestyle of experiences, can bring a reality based mutual fulfillment of both the male desire to be dominated and the female need to be in authority.
“The female nature is mysterious to most males because few men ever take the initiative to understand the female nature. Intimacy is about so much more than just sex. Intimacy is learning of another and knowing another on many personal levels. D&S is a sexuality based on true intimacy because it takes knowing the complete person in order to engage in a fulfilling D&S session. The woman who takes the time to explore her man’s submissive nature in great detail through D&S practice and experimentation, gets to know her submissive male on deep and intimate levels, psychologically, spiritually and sexually. It takes getting to know a man in order to uncover his psychological triggers, which reveal his innermost nature. Such exploration will uncover those triggers that can transport the male to subspace, a place where barriers are lowered so the male can see the female in all her beauty and glory. Yet, how many men strive to know the female nature? How many men devote themselves to learning how to serve the female nature in a manner which the female nature craves and desires? How many men yield themselves to the female and present themselves to the female so they can be trained to meet the needs of the female?
“The FemDom experience presents the reality based opportunity for a man to learn of the female nature so he can worship her and serve her, according to her many moods and needs. To worship means to love, revere and adore with humility and admiration. People often say they worship a Supreme Being, which is wonderful because man is a spiritual being. However, the act of worship need not be limited to the spiritual. A woman is spirit but she is also flesh and blood and she can be loved, revered, admired and adored through acts of practical service and devotion. Worship is a form of intimacy and romance. To worship a woman is to know a woman. (Pg. 24-25 The FemDom Experience, Elise Sutton, 2006)”
‘Nuff said.
“So the woman who dominates a man in the bedroom is giving him what he needs in order to provide him with the motivation that he needs to give the woman what she needs and deserves, both inside and outside the bedroom. The male wants to treat a woman like a Queen. He wants to submit to the woman in his life and he craves to worship her. But it is up to the woman to lead him where he wants to go. By doing this, the female will experience much fulfillment and much satisfaction. (Pg. 18)”
“There is a submissive desire within men that cannot resist a powerful woman. This desire is sexual but it is also touches the psyche (soul) and the spiritual sides of man. Men know that women are not their equals, no matter how politically correct our society tries to be. Women are different and mysterious to men. Women are sexual in a way that men do not understand. Women have a power that men do not understand and men cannot resist.
“Submitting to a woman means to worship a woman, to adore a woman, to truly love a woman. Submitting to a woman means to serve awoman with a humble heart. A man’s fetishes and D&S desires are merely the expressions of his longing for loving female authority. Men need to be disciplined. Men desire to be dominated sexually, mentally and emotionally by the female gender. Women are naturally dominant and can fulfill this need within men if they can overcome societal programming and expectations. (Pg. 22 The FemDom Experience, Elise Sutton, 2006)”
“The male submissive nature craves to be dominated by the female gender. It is an earnest desire and an intense longing. A longing is an appetite which must be fed in order to be satisfied, but that satisfaction is temporary, thus the feeding must become a lifestyle in order to maintain fulfillment and satisfaction. Fantasy feeds the cravings of the submissive nature of a man, but it is not substantial enough to satisfy. In fact, fantasy increases the appetite for domination rather than fulfilling its cravings. It takes the FemDom experience to satisfy the male longing for domination, and it takes a loving female authority to truly satisfy the male submissive nature.
“To crave that which cannot be satisfied is a perverted form of desire, better known as lust. Passion and desire are healthy, but lust can be destructive because it is a never-ending quest, which will never be fulfilled. Lust is a perverted form of desire because Nature implants desire into one’s disposition in order to drive that person in a particular direction. Passion is good for it leads to romance, sex, and love. The male submissive desire is good because it leads the male to the realization of his need to be in submission to the female gender, and his need to be under the control of a loving female authority. No matter how unusual, bizarre, or outrageous the manifestation of the male submissive nature, the root of that nature is a desire for loving female authority. Fantasy is a wonderful creation of the human imagination, and its expression often reflects the inner desires of man, but fantasy, void of reality, can change desire over to lust, thus that desire can never be satisfied or fulfilled because man lives in reality. Fantasy can be a wonderful escape from reality, but the inner nature of man craves actual fulfillment, which can only occur with experience, which can only exist in reality.
“Fantasy can whet the appetite for the FemDom experience and thus be a valuable tool in the development of the submissive nature of man. But the creative expressions of man’s desires must at some point and time intersect with reality. The male’s needs and desires must be reconciled with the female nature and the female’s needs and desires. The craving of the male submissive nature drives the male to the realization of his need to be in submission to the female gender. Fantasy can assist this journey but only an actual experience or better yet, an actual lifestyle of experiences, can bring a reality based mutual fulfillment of both the male desire to be dominated and the female need to be in authority.
“The female nature is mysterious to most males because few men ever take the initiative to understand the female nature. Intimacy is about so much more than just sex. Intimacy is learning of another and knowing another on many personal levels. D&S is a sexuality based on true intimacy because it takes knowing the complete person in order to engage in a fulfilling D&S session. The woman who takes the time to explore her man’s submissive nature in great detail through D&S practice and experimentation, gets to know her submissive male on deep and intimate levels, psychologically, spiritually and sexually. It takes getting to know a man in order to uncover his psychological triggers, which reveal his innermost nature. Such exploration will uncover those triggers that can transport the male to subspace, a place where barriers are lowered so the male can see the female in all her beauty and glory. Yet, how many men strive to know the female nature? How many men devote themselves to learning how to serve the female nature in a manner which the female nature craves and desires? How many men yield themselves to the female and present themselves to the female so they can be trained to meet the needs of the female?
“The FemDom experience presents the reality based opportunity for a man to learn of the female nature so he can worship her and serve her, according to her many moods and needs. To worship means to love, revere and adore with humility and admiration. People often say they worship a Supreme Being, which is wonderful because man is a spiritual being. However, the act of worship need not be limited to the spiritual. A woman is spirit but she is also flesh and blood and she can be loved, revered, admired and adored through acts of practical service and devotion. Worship is a form of intimacy and romance. To worship a woman is to know a woman. (Pg. 24-25 The FemDom Experience, Elise Sutton, 2006)”
‘Nuff said.
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