-From a Loving Dom and her Loyal Sub
*It is important to remember that all people and couple are different and what we discuss here may not necessarily work for everyone. All Doms and Subs should have open and judgement free dialogue to help find what works for them, what turns them on, and what they fear.
The Idea Behind Tasks
The purpose of a task is to put the Sub into the frame of mind we call the ‘sub space’ mentioned in the previous post. They also give the sub a chance to break away from daily stresses even if their Mistress or Master is not around. A Sub can break down if they are not given enough relief from the world. Though most people are strong in their day to day life, many need a regular release from the world and give control to someone else even if it is only a little chore or action. For us, the tasks are 3 cups of water per day, slowly increasing amounts of push-ups and sit-ups (15 currently), and a daily thorough cleaning.
*It is important to remember that all people and couple are different and what we discuss here may not necessarily work for everyone. All Doms and Subs should have open and judgement free dialogue to help find what works for them, what turns them on, and what they fear.
The Idea Behind Tasks
The purpose of a task is to put the Sub into the frame of mind we call the ‘sub space’ mentioned in the previous post. They also give the sub a chance to break away from daily stresses even if their Mistress or Master is not around. A Sub can break down if they are not given enough relief from the world. Though most people are strong in their day to day life, many need a regular release from the world and give control to someone else even if it is only a little chore or action. For us, the tasks are 3 cups of water per day, slowly increasing amounts of push-ups and sit-ups (15 currently), and a daily thorough cleaning.
On Rewards
The idea is to reward the Sub for good behavior as well as completing the tasks given to him or to punish him for ‘rebelling’ against the dominant. Keep in mind, being playful and rebellious are two separate things. The Sub may be expressing themselves or calling the Dom’s attention with playful but seemingly rebellious behavior when it isn’t actual disrespect. This is where lighter, more fun ‘punishments’ are best used like light tickles or playful smacks on my Sub’s ass.
-Dom: I must punish my sub just right because he always pushing his luck. Damn that cute face.
-Sub: I can’t help it, too much fun.
The reward must be something the Sub enjoys, though preferably it is something the Dom enjoys as well. Having a pointless or unfun reward can discourage the sub by making it seem like there is no point to doing the tasks or begins to slip up in completing them. Thus when the Sub goes from rare failure to complete tasks to repeated failure, it isn’t the best idea to go full punishment as a dialogue on why it is happening may be necessary.
As of now we only have one steady reward… as well as a get out of punishment free card that we only keep one of. The reward is something we refer to as Dom kisses. It’s just where the Dom holds the sub’s arms down over their head and kisses and bites are showered over the Sub until the Dom is content. It’s a marvelous reward but we are always exploring new ideas.
The idea is to reward the Sub for good behavior as well as completing the tasks given to him or to punish him for ‘rebelling’ against the dominant. Keep in mind, being playful and rebellious are two separate things. The Sub may be expressing themselves or calling the Dom’s attention with playful but seemingly rebellious behavior when it isn’t actual disrespect. This is where lighter, more fun ‘punishments’ are best used like light tickles or playful smacks on my Sub’s ass.
-Dom: I must punish my sub just right because he always pushing his luck. Damn that cute face.
-Sub: I can’t help it, too much fun.
The reward must be something the Sub enjoys, though preferably it is something the Dom enjoys as well. Having a pointless or unfun reward can discourage the sub by making it seem like there is no point to doing the tasks or begins to slip up in completing them. Thus when the Sub goes from rare failure to complete tasks to repeated failure, it isn’t the best idea to go full punishment as a dialogue on why it is happening may be necessary.
As of now we only have one steady reward… as well as a get out of punishment free card that we only keep one of. The reward is something we refer to as Dom kisses. It’s just where the Dom holds the sub’s arms down over their head and kisses and bites are showered over the Sub until the Dom is content. It’s a marvelous reward but we are always exploring new ideas.
On Punishment
There are two categories of punishment. Negative punishment is where the submissive willingly or through neglect disobeys the Dom. (The sub should NEVER be punished for honest inability to complete a task. In this case, punishment will only bring resentment.) Positive punishment or ‘punishment’ is much more light hearted and can be used in playful or frisky situations. These can take the form of light tickles or playful ass slaps.
-Sub: My Mistress and I prefer hard spanking not be used as a negative punishment, but we find the aforementioned light smacks to be rather enjoyable and goes back and forth between a part of session and playful ‘punishment’.
-Dom: And we are looking into more toys regarding that… but more for a later post.
The single most important things is for the Sub to understand why he is being punished. A random punishment seemingly coming from nowhere will only cause the Sub to be fearful of doing wrong and become more timid in the future. However a Dom mustn’t be too lenient or let the sub get away with disrespectful actions. Our primary punishment is aggressive tickling where the Sub has to count to 3, and with each offense the Sub must count an additional 2 seconds.
There are two categories of punishment. Negative punishment is where the submissive willingly or through neglect disobeys the Dom. (The sub should NEVER be punished for honest inability to complete a task. In this case, punishment will only bring resentment.) Positive punishment or ‘punishment’ is much more light hearted and can be used in playful or frisky situations. These can take the form of light tickles or playful ass slaps.
-Sub: My Mistress and I prefer hard spanking not be used as a negative punishment, but we find the aforementioned light smacks to be rather enjoyable and goes back and forth between a part of session and playful ‘punishment’.
-Dom: And we are looking into more toys regarding that… but more for a later post.
The single most important things is for the Sub to understand why he is being punished. A random punishment seemingly coming from nowhere will only cause the Sub to be fearful of doing wrong and become more timid in the future. However a Dom mustn’t be too lenient or let the sub get away with disrespectful actions. Our primary punishment is aggressive tickling where the Sub has to count to 3, and with each offense the Sub must count an additional 2 seconds.
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