Lately I’ve started wondering whether I shouldn’t try a chastity device… I used to frown with a bewildered grin at the idea that any man would willingly lock his cock up, or have his cock locked up. What kind of a man would choose a life of chastity, essentially making it impossible to get a full erection or to masturbate? Slowly though, as I’ve ventured a bit further into a more female led relationship, I’m starting to understand the processes that would drive a man to considering chastity.
I mean, as hard as I try, I simply seem unable to get proper control over my masturbation habit. It’s an extreme form of self-discipline for a man in his early 30’s as far as I’m concerned. I’ve given up a range of pretty persistent habits over the years, but gaining full control over this particular habit is in a league of its own in my opinion. To be fair, over the past 7 months I’ve gone from a ‘chronic’ masturbator (20 to 25 times a month, every month), to a casual masturbator (4 to 7 times a month), but what bothers me is the fact that I am seemingly powerless to stop those 4 to 7 times from happening, no matter how hard I try, and that’s never happened before when I’ve put my mind to kicking a habit. I’ve tried the “30-day-no-masturbation-challenge” 4 times this year, and not once have I made it past 17 days, before giving up.
The good news is that my sex life has honestly never been better, as the focus this year has shifted a lot more towards focusing on her pleasure, which is of course only possible because I don’t masturbate as often anymore. After 3 or 4 days without an orgasm, I get such a powerful desire to please her in whatever way she needs pleasing…but it’s almost Jekyll & Hyde-like how that desire completely disappears once I’ve masturbated. Above I mentioned how a couple of times, I went over 2 weeks without masturbating, well I can tell you that towards the end of those periods I was practically begging her to write me up daily chore lists, and when she returned home from work in the evenings, ready to inspect my efforts, all I kept hoping was that she’d be pleased enough to allow me to physically pleasure her in some way…whether that be through a sensuous massage, or whether that be through her rewarding me with the ultimate prize of being permitted to go down on her, and bring her to yet another orgasm. Such a major shift in behavior on my behalf, all because I wasn’t allowing myself to masturbate, and rid my body of all its sexual energy and tension.
Here’s an interesting piece I found online regarding this matter:
“The intensity of sexual energy cannot be matched with any emotion known to humans. No other force has the power to inject the amount of courage, fearlessness, imagination, impetus, motivation and creativity that the force of sexual energy has. This is one reason why sex is the most sought after activity by humans. You should be able to contain sexual energy before you are able to channel it. It’s like containing the water behind a dam so that it can be channeled into more useful pursuits; in the absence of a dam that contains this water, the water just flows chaotically serving no useful purpose.
… The most normal male reaction to a surge of sexual energy is to immediately seek to expend it via some form of sexual activity (be it through intercourse or masturbation). One reason for this behavior is that we find it difficult to contain such a huge surge of energy and find it a relief to expel it through ejaculation. This behavior is an indication that you are actually quite helpless, and powerless in dealing with this energy…, an energy which seems to “control” you rather than you controlling it, and learning to channel it the way you want. You’ll soon find that a completely different dynamic plays out in your physical expression when you don’t release this energy through sexual activity and simply contain it, allowing it to course through your body and mind. When contained, this energy seems to channel into creative actions automatically – getting things done which you might not have considered or had the energy to do previously.”
I’m assuming none of this is breaking news to most of you, but to me, it’s been a valuable lesson, and one I’m determined to put to good use, primarily because it’s brought my partner and I closer together sexually than we’ve been in well over 10 years…together with a range of other aspects and factors, cutting down on my masturbating has given our relationship an entirely new dimension.
So getting back to wearing a chastity device…seen from this perspective, it actually makes quite a lot of sense to me how wearing one temporarily could work wonders in helping to develop the character needed to contain such a powerful sexual force. A couple of months ago, I discussed chastity devices very briefly with my partner, and she wasn’t too keen on the idea, but I guess a part of me is hoping to re-open the discussion at some point and possibly give it a try. Naturally she would be my ‘key holder’, and as such would need to not only understand what we’re trying to achieve and the benefits involved for both of us, but it would also be important to me that she take some form of pleasure out of helping me learn to control my sexual energy, which obviously takes time, effort and a regular dose of sexual teasing on her behalf! Maybe she’d be a bit more open to the idea if we tried a chastity device that was a bit playful and pleasing to the eye, as opposed to a metal cage or whatever. I know that was certainly the case with the strapons we ended up buying.
The flip side to all of this of course if that, as my key holder, my woman would very suddenly gain absolute control over my cock…She suddenly gets to decide when and if she’ll release me and reward me with the chance to masturbate, or whether or not she feels like unlocking me in order to use my cock for a good fucking…
That’s a lot of control I’d be giving up and putting in her hands, which is terrifying on a lot of levels, but also incredibly fun and sexy (and a huge turn-on!) on various other levels. It’s definitely something I’m becoming more and more excited to try with her, so we’ll just wait and see how things progress. To be continued!
I mean, as hard as I try, I simply seem unable to get proper control over my masturbation habit. It’s an extreme form of self-discipline for a man in his early 30’s as far as I’m concerned. I’ve given up a range of pretty persistent habits over the years, but gaining full control over this particular habit is in a league of its own in my opinion. To be fair, over the past 7 months I’ve gone from a ‘chronic’ masturbator (20 to 25 times a month, every month), to a casual masturbator (4 to 7 times a month), but what bothers me is the fact that I am seemingly powerless to stop those 4 to 7 times from happening, no matter how hard I try, and that’s never happened before when I’ve put my mind to kicking a habit. I’ve tried the “30-day-no-masturbation-challenge” 4 times this year, and not once have I made it past 17 days, before giving up.
The good news is that my sex life has honestly never been better, as the focus this year has shifted a lot more towards focusing on her pleasure, which is of course only possible because I don’t masturbate as often anymore. After 3 or 4 days without an orgasm, I get such a powerful desire to please her in whatever way she needs pleasing…but it’s almost Jekyll & Hyde-like how that desire completely disappears once I’ve masturbated. Above I mentioned how a couple of times, I went over 2 weeks without masturbating, well I can tell you that towards the end of those periods I was practically begging her to write me up daily chore lists, and when she returned home from work in the evenings, ready to inspect my efforts, all I kept hoping was that she’d be pleased enough to allow me to physically pleasure her in some way…whether that be through a sensuous massage, or whether that be through her rewarding me with the ultimate prize of being permitted to go down on her, and bring her to yet another orgasm. Such a major shift in behavior on my behalf, all because I wasn’t allowing myself to masturbate, and rid my body of all its sexual energy and tension.
Here’s an interesting piece I found online regarding this matter:
“The intensity of sexual energy cannot be matched with any emotion known to humans. No other force has the power to inject the amount of courage, fearlessness, imagination, impetus, motivation and creativity that the force of sexual energy has. This is one reason why sex is the most sought after activity by humans. You should be able to contain sexual energy before you are able to channel it. It’s like containing the water behind a dam so that it can be channeled into more useful pursuits; in the absence of a dam that contains this water, the water just flows chaotically serving no useful purpose.
… The most normal male reaction to a surge of sexual energy is to immediately seek to expend it via some form of sexual activity (be it through intercourse or masturbation). One reason for this behavior is that we find it difficult to contain such a huge surge of energy and find it a relief to expel it through ejaculation. This behavior is an indication that you are actually quite helpless, and powerless in dealing with this energy…, an energy which seems to “control” you rather than you controlling it, and learning to channel it the way you want. You’ll soon find that a completely different dynamic plays out in your physical expression when you don’t release this energy through sexual activity and simply contain it, allowing it to course through your body and mind. When contained, this energy seems to channel into creative actions automatically – getting things done which you might not have considered or had the energy to do previously.”
I’m assuming none of this is breaking news to most of you, but to me, it’s been a valuable lesson, and one I’m determined to put to good use, primarily because it’s brought my partner and I closer together sexually than we’ve been in well over 10 years…together with a range of other aspects and factors, cutting down on my masturbating has given our relationship an entirely new dimension.
So getting back to wearing a chastity device…seen from this perspective, it actually makes quite a lot of sense to me how wearing one temporarily could work wonders in helping to develop the character needed to contain such a powerful sexual force. A couple of months ago, I discussed chastity devices very briefly with my partner, and she wasn’t too keen on the idea, but I guess a part of me is hoping to re-open the discussion at some point and possibly give it a try. Naturally she would be my ‘key holder’, and as such would need to not only understand what we’re trying to achieve and the benefits involved for both of us, but it would also be important to me that she take some form of pleasure out of helping me learn to control my sexual energy, which obviously takes time, effort and a regular dose of sexual teasing on her behalf! Maybe she’d be a bit more open to the idea if we tried a chastity device that was a bit playful and pleasing to the eye, as opposed to a metal cage or whatever. I know that was certainly the case with the strapons we ended up buying.
The flip side to all of this of course if that, as my key holder, my woman would very suddenly gain absolute control over my cock…She suddenly gets to decide when and if she’ll release me and reward me with the chance to masturbate, or whether or not she feels like unlocking me in order to use my cock for a good fucking…
That’s a lot of control I’d be giving up and putting in her hands, which is terrifying on a lot of levels, but also incredibly fun and sexy (and a huge turn-on!) on various other levels. It’s definitely something I’m becoming more and more excited to try with her, so we’ll just wait and see how things progress. To be continued!
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