12 Rules of Chastity - Make Your Life Easier

1. You decide on the length of the lock up. 
2. You get to decide how he cums and how you have sex.
3. Sex does not require unlocking of the penis unless you say so.
4. He is not allowed to touch his genitalia in a sexual way or try to circumvent his device. It’s your property now.
5. All ejaculations that were not sanctioned by you must have a penalty. The penalty for unauthorized ejaculations could be recycling the semen by having him swallow it. If the semen cannot be retrieved, he will have to swallow his next load. 
6. Forbid him to ask directly for anything sexual. This is to prevent him for constantly asking you for sex, which he will do and it becomes annoying quick. Instead, he’ll have to romance you, flirt with you, pamper you and learn to please his prey, his ultimate desire, slowly wearing her down and getting her panties off. 
7. No porn. The only naked body he ever gets to see is yours. Since you can’t take his word for this, have him buy Net Nanny and install it.
8. For every fight you have, no matter who was right or wrong, he must stay a week in chastity without any release. 
9. If you are displeased with his behavior in public, just say a number and he immediately understands that is the extra days he’ll have to suffer in chastity without any release for that behavior. If he keeps it up, just keep saying higher numbers.
10. He must keep his genitalia shaved at all times. It is a requirement for the hygienic wearing of his chastity device.
11. You reserve the right to tell your close friends about your arrangement and his device. 
12. He must always sleep naked and locked in his chastity device.

Chastity belt training reviewed

1. You are not punishing your man - you are protecting him from his perfectly normal lack of self-control.

2. You are not denying him sexual pleasure. In fact, when you do release him from his male chastity belt, sex will feel better for him and his orgasms will become much more intense.

3. You are not denying yourself the sex life you deserve. While he’s locked up he’ll use his mouth and fingers to provide you with sexual satisfaction on a regular basis. And, there are ways that you have satisfying penetrative sex while he is still under lock and key.

4. Men will try to claim they need to have regular orgasms to stay healthy. This simply isn’t true. They do need to have ejaculations every so often; but you can make this happen in a matter of minutes without him getting an erection or having an orgasm.

5. Hundreds of thousands of married couples are in the male chastity lifestyle. It’s not kinky. In fact, the odds are that several of your friends already have their husband’s crown jewels locked away.

6. When done correctly, your man will feel more loved by you than he did before male chastity became a part of your life. In fact, most men eventually thank their wives for insisting on the lifestyle.

7. While at first you’ll only keep him locked up for a few days at a time, eventually he should be restricted to eight to 12 orgasms a year. This is more than enough.

8. Over time he’ll start to feel like more of a man, because he’ll know that all of his sexual energy is going towards pleasing you. He’ll like the fact that he no longer feels like a little boy who can’t help but play with his little pee-pee when you are not looking. Instead, he will be saving himself for you!

How to Administer a Good Spanking by Ms Kay

A good spanking is much more than physical– it is intensely psychological. Work with both elements together, and you will provide your sub with a spanking they won’t soon forget.

Before you read further, understand that this is for real-life spankings…not fantasy.

1. Why are you spanking?

There are many reasons for a spanking, and there’s nothing saying you can’t mix and match. But different motives will be best served by different methods. Some common reasons to spank:
fun

1. punishment
2. role-playing
3. age play
4. establish dominance
5. humiliation
6. protocol

If your purpose is to punish, be sure that you do not mix pleasure with the spanking…or that the pain/discomfort overshadows any pleasure. Failure to do this will result in reinforcing the very behavior you seek to discourage.

If your purpose is pleasure-based, make sure you choose a comfortable spot for both of you, and set aside plenty of time for pauses and teasing.

2. Getting Ready

Now is the time to set the scene and prepare. First: where do you want the spanking to take place? This is a psychologically powerful activity– do you want your sub to associate this moment with the bedroom? Or something that highlights the domestic or casual tone, like the kitchen? Sometimes a spanking can be sensual, sometimes it can be business-like, and sometimes it can be a laughing, struggling, all-out brawl, depending on your tastes. Choose your location carefully to set the proper tone.

Second, what will you use to spank? Many Doms and subs imagine an over-the-knee (OTK) hand-delivered spanking. But…depending on your enthusiasm and your sub’s tolerance, this might not be a good idea. I’ve actually gotten bruises on my palms and had sore hands for days after a particularly fierce spanking. To avoid this, I usually have a ‘slapper’ or paddle to warm them up, and then when they’re tender, I switch to using my hand. Your mileage may vary.

Remember that spanking will often leave bruises or marks. Discuss this beforehand to make sure that your sub doesn’t have a doctor’s visit planned, for example, or plans to go on vacation where they’d be wearing skimpy clothing.

3. The Lead-up

The lead-up to the spanking is as important as the spanking itself. I will usually start with him fully clothed and grab him by the ear or hair and pull him firmly behind me to the place I’ve chosen to spank him. I make him stand in front of me and very clearly explain the purpose of the spanking. If the spanking is meant to be a punishment, it’s important that the reason for the punishment is made very clear before the spanking. At that point, regardless of the reason for the spanking, I require him to thank me for the time and attention I’m giving him by taking the time to spank him. I require him to admit that he needs/deserves/loves it.

At this point, I will put him into position. Sometimes he’ll be on all fours, sometimes bound, sometimes leaning onto a counter, sometimes across my legs…whatever I think will best reinforce the message and best allow me to deliver the spanking I wish to give him.

4. The Spanking

It’s important to understand the role that endorphins play when deciding how to go about the spanking. If you want it to hurt, aka, be punishment– then administer the spanking fast so that the endorphins don’t have time to kick in and dull the edge of the pain. For the most pain on impact, you’ll want something that will allow the air to flow through it: a slotted spatula, a leather slapper with holes, or your hand with fingers slightly spread apart. Hitting in the same spot over and over again will be more likely to make the pain last, but hitting in different spots will be more painful in the short term.

If you are seeking pleasure with pain, however, you will want to make this a slower, more leisurely process. Pausing between hits to caress, rub, or comment will allow for an emotional connection, and give endorphins time to kick in and make it more likely that they will reach ‘sub space’. For less sting on impact and more thud, go with implements that will not let air pass through: solid paddles, or your hand with fingers together.

When striking, it’s best to stay in the “meat” of the sub’s ass – and best of all is the “sweet spot” – that lovely rounded area just on the underside of the fullest part of the ass. Hitting in this spot will activate the most nerve endings and will allow for a longer, more satisfying session.

This is a good time to have your sub participate by counting, begging for forgiveness, or thanking you for each swat.

If this is your first time spanking, or their first time being spanked, keep the lines of communication open. Some people use safe-words, but a sub in the midst of emotional and physical intensity can sometimes forget the right word to say. Watch their body language and check in…ask them to verbalize for you.

5. After the Spanking

You have an important job as a Dom or Top, here. For many subs, spanking may bring up childhood issues, traumas, fears, or even guilt. Some subs find spanking to be an incredible, cathartic experience. Endorphins may have kicked in and they may be floating in sub-space and can even be non-verbal for a time. After one of my first spanking sessions, my sub couldn’t stop laughing all the while tears were streaming down his face. If I hadn’t known that sometimes this sort of thing happens, it would have been very unnerving :)

It’s very important that, as the Dom/Top, you provide appropriate aftercare. If this was a light, fun spanking (a few swats), that might just mean sending them to stand in the corner, or checking in with a smile and patting them on the head and telling them to go finish their chores. The longer and more intense the session, though, you will need to keep a close eye out for any emotional or physical repercussions. Even if this was a punishment spanking, a responsible Dom’s first concern is for her/his sub’s well-being. Make sure your sub is emotionally and physically ok before you send them away, dismiss, or leave them.

As I said– this is real-life– not fantasy or porn. In movies or fantasy bdsm, the harsh Mistress can whallop and beat on her slave for an hour, kick him as he lies on the floor, and then stomp out of the room without so much as a glance at her sub to check on his physical/emotional condition. In real life, that would be irresponsible and inappropriate, to say the least.

Personally, I find that after giving a good, long spanking, it’s the perfect time to bond with my sub. I let him put his head in my lap, or by my feet. I pet his head, or let him kiss my toes. He may tell me that he is sorry, or that he adores me, and I will tell him how much he has pleased me, etc…it is usually a great time for emotional connection. Of course, there are other times where we’re both so worked up that we engage in more energetic, sexual forms of bonding ;-)

So…there you are. I hope this was helpful in your quest for the perfect spanking! Enjoy!

~Ms Kay

The Key Elements of Male Chastity Obsession

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Sexual Activities/Humiliation. by Mistress K and Hubby

One of the best authoritative situations for your Hubby/Submissive is to introduce something that could be considered taboo and maybe erotic. If you are into strap-on play, understand he desires what you say much more than he desires the strap-on in his ass. Remember, this is psychological reinforcement as well as physical reinforcement. In fact, if you are doing it right, he will not be that comfortable when you are taking his ass.

He will feel vulnerable, maybe embarrassed, but as you take him (ass) and make his your “bitch” an emotional and sexual connection will occur.

This is what he wants to feel more than the sensations of you riding him like your personal bitch.

Put your strap-on at the edge of his asshole, and specifically ask “What do you say?”

At this point, don’t be happy with please, make him say things that truly shows he wants your authority.

Make him beg for it. Say “Beg me for it” If he resists, keep it up, rubbing it against his lubed anal cavity and say that if he wants you to dominate him, he must beg for it.

After he succumbs, slowly enter him, taunt him, and reinforce his role as your bitch. Wrap your hand on his cock, and start pumping it while you are working his ass.

Once he relaxes, releases to you his sexuality, emotions, and vulnerability, he will be putty in your hands. At this moment, explore his mind, understand his fantasies, and have a good time!

THE FORMULA TO SUCCESSFUL, SUSTAINABLE FLR: FOR WOMEN

Advice from a girl who has been in charge for a while.

My man is in CHASTITY pretty much all the time. In the beginning, it took me a while to understand the purpose of chastity. It took him a while to get used to a foreign body attached to his member. But once I got used to the power, there has been no going back.

TEASING is become our daily routine and I just adore being a blue balls queen. Seeing his frustration and hearing him beg is both fun and huge turn on for me.

Most of the teasing I perform with his cage on. I remove the cage for tease and play once in a while, sometimes as reward, or if I want an occasional real cock. But only when his hands are bound. This way I am in total CONTROL, all of the time.

EDGING AND DENIAL are essential to melt his mind into state of fully obedience and humility. Prolonged denial increases it all. For how long one should deny the other, is completely up to the denier…in this case ME :)

Prolonged denial increases it all. How long should any of this last? Well that is completely up to the one in charge. Me/ should deny the other, is completely up to the girl… in this case ME : )

RUINED ORGASMS keep your submissive healthy but are not satisfying and that keeps him horny.

If you can make him cum while wearing chastity, it is also a ruined unsatisfying cum. And of course all that unsatisfied horniness results in him being the best partner in the world. ATTENTIVE, HUMBLE, OBEDIENT.

PEGGING nicely deals with the ego issue as it is about the most humiliating thing for him and empowering thing for you. If you do it with his cage on, double that feeling. And if you manage to make him have a ruined orgasm in his cage, just by pegging. So proud of myself : )

Dealing with his ego is important or he will forget his place in your relationship. You want someone who feels good about themselves, is confident and successful. But when it coms to the two of you, who do you think should feel more important and entitled? : )

POINT BEING

A FEMALE LED RELATIONSHIP results in a humble and obedient husband.

Chastity Games

Here are some ideas, and some advice to couples that are exploring a female led relationship that involves chastity. These are not “advanced techniques” and I don’t claim to be an expert, but in the 6 years we have played in the lifestyle, these are some of the more important things I have learned. If you are looking to completely dominate your husband in every aspect of your life, this is probably not the article for you. If you are interested in having a more fun, kinky, and exciting sex life, along with a little more control in the household, and help your husband be a better partner to you, this may help.

How long should he be locked?

I truly believe that it should be up to the keyholder and her alone, but some people like to switch things up, so here are some fun ways to let fate decide.

1. Determine the number of orgasm he has to give the keyholder before he earns an orgasm.
2. The keyholder could require him to provide her with 10 oral, 10 using a vibrator, and 10 using his cock before he earns the right to have his own. Or 20 using his fingers and 5 using his mouth, and 5 with a dildo, or strap on, you get the idea.
3. How about adding one day every time he has an orgasm, so if he made it 21 days this time he has to wait 22 next time.
4. There is a myriad of dice games that could be used. If you Google dice chastity game, you can find an endless supply.
5. Marbles seem to be another favorite, again if you Google marble chastity game, there are plenty to choose from.
6. I think a really fun one is to use trivia to determine his lock up time. While lying in bed the keyholder can ask a series of questions about anything she likes really, and for every answer the sub gets wrong he gets a day or a week or whatever time period the keyholder desires locked in chastity, this is fun because the keyholder is still determining the lock up time, by the number of questions or how hard they are. Try Keyholder trivia, she can ask questions about what she likes, you can both have fun and learn what makes your keyholder happy!
7. I also think that it is a big turn on for the sub to know that regardless what the “game” determines should be the lock up time, that he knows it is ultimately what his keyholder decides, so when the time arrives that he has earned his orgasm, simply tell him, “I know you were supposed to have an orgasm today, but I have decided to keep you locked another few days.”

Fun things for the Keyholder to say to keep the sub excited. I think it is important for the keyholder to remember that for the sub in chastity, it is a 24/7 commitment, and sometimes all it takes is the smallest reminder from his keyholder to get his libido back up and racing and keep it exciting for him.

1. “Tonight sweetie, you can be my little brown noser.”
2. “Oh! Sweetie, your cage looks tight and uncomfortable! Oh well, you will just have to suffer for me.”
3. “You haven’t thanked me for locking up your cock and controlling your orgasms for you in quite a while. Do you have anything to say to me?”
4. After he has given you an orgasm orally, you could say, “Sweetie you are getting so good with your tongue, pretty soon I will never have to unlock your cock!”
5. After inspecting his cage to make sure he is secure, you could say something like, “Hmmm, maybe we should get a size smaller.”
6. “Sweetie I seem to have lost the key, oh well, we won’t be needing it for a long time anyway.”
7. “Denying you is so much more fun than letting you orgasm, I might never let you cum again!”
8. Every time you lock his device, you should say something like, “Now thank me for controlling your orgasms,” or, “There we go, my cock is locked up again, until the next time I need it.”
9. You get the idea, anything to remind him that you are in control will excite him and keep him happy for quite a while.

Tease and Denial: I think this is the most important part of chastity and also a successful female led relationship. There are numerous entire web sites and articles with ideas out there, so I will let you find your own fun ideas, but I would like to remind you that it doesn’t have to last only an hour, there are ways to tease your sub all day without having to lift a finger.

1. Have him shave all his pubic hair. It is more comfortable wearing a cage when you are shaved anyway. Every time his goes to the bathroom it will be another reminder of your control.
2.  Assign him to make you a sex toy, or bondage device, like a leg spreader, or install eye bolts to tie him off to.
3.  Assign him a list of chores you want complete, with the knowledge that if they are not done he will be punished.
4. . Make him clean the house dressed as a woman.
5. . Have him hand wash your panties and lingerie.
6. . Have him run an errand for you wearing a butt plug.
7.  Tell him you need new panties and you want him to buy them for you. When He gives them to you, tell him you think they will look better on him, and make him wear them.
8. Before he leaves for work, make him lick your pussy and tell him that he has the privilege of smelling you every time he inhales now.
9.  You can set rules for him, like having to ask to use the bathroom, or having to address you as mistress or princess for the day.

Punishments: Punishments can be fun, or they can be just that, Punishments. I think any female led relationship should have both. Just having “fun” punishments promotes behavior from the sub that is unacceptable, because he enjoys the punishment and acts up in order to get it. For punishments that are meant to correct behavior or habits, he should be aware that you are truly unhappy with what he has done, that you love him very much, and that the punishment is meant to hurt. After the punishment reinforce that you love him, and you did what you did to help him be a better partner. I can say 100% of the time that your partner will love you for it, gain respect for you in the relationship, and be far more excited because it now seems real to him. With just playful punishments, he may still view this as a game. Here are some playful punishments:

1. Have him lick your ass, as you watch TV or read a book. Make sure to give him plenty of direction and encouragement, and tease him a bit as well. Lets face it, sex is 90% mental. Say things like, “I love my little brown noser,” or “get your tongue in there or that cage stays locked for another week.” It’s important that you make do a good job, not just lick your butt cheeks, the excitement for the sub is all mental, being made to lick your ass, the punishment part is making him really do it.
2. During a teasing session, if he starts moving too much or getting overly close to orgasm, take off your panties, put the gusset on his face and tell him they can keep him company while you go get a drink.
3. Have him run you a bath, wash your body, lotion your legs, dress you, even paint your toe nails. Keep it exciting for him by telling him how happy you are he is in chastity, and how you would hate to lose his enthusiasm, so you may never remove the device.
4. Have him wear panties and stockings to work under his work clothes, no one but you and he will know. He will be on high alert all day hoping no one notices. You can text him from time to time to remind him of his situation!
5. If he keeps asking to be let out of his cage, take off your panties and gag him with them.
6. Play a little trivia game with him, tie his hands up, play with him until he is excited, and ask him if he knows how to please you, he will of course say yes, then you can say “great! We are going to play a game, I will ask you some questions about me, when you are right I will stroke your cock, when you are wrong, I will slap it.” Ask away! You can ask him anything from your favorite color to your favorite sexual position!
7. Tens units are a lot of fun as well, as they can be used to provide great pleasure, or a small amount of pain. They can make a great training tool used correctly.
8. Take all his boring male underwear, and replace them with panties, and tell him he has to earn his underwear back, and he should wear the panties till he does.
9. Hoods can be a lot of fun. Get one with a gag and use some ear plugs and he won’t know when or where you are going to give him pleasure (or pain).
10. Spankings of course are a favorite, using your hand or a paddle its pretty tough to really hurt him, so spank away. Careful with some of the switches or canes, as you can actually draw blood with enough force.
11. If he comes without permission, I consider that a pretty serious offense. The whole idea of the relationship is that he is giving you control of his orgasms, if he takes that back, its just a sex game to him again. If he is unable to control himself any more, he should be able to talk to you seriously and explain the situation and let YOU decide when and how he orgasms. Taking it upon himself is unacceptable. He should get a serious punishment, be locked back up, in his cage immediately, and made to lick up his mess.
12. Ruined orgasms can be very effective. There are plenty of videos and articles on how they work and how to cause them, so I will not go into it, but they take some practice to get it right. When you do get it right, it actually will leave your sub just as horny, but leaves you with the leverage of saying “you just had an orgasm!” You know you did it right if his seed simply flows out with no “burst”, also just watching his face will tell you!

Like I said there has to be more than just fun punishments. Sometimes, he will need to be corrected. This prevents him from “topping from the bottom” or controlling what you have him do. Certainly he has to get some of what he wants, but he should not be able to “force you to force him” that is not how it works, and is not as much fun for him or you. Punishments are also great ways to “tweek” his behavior or attitude towards you, if he is acting moody or speaking disrespectfully to you, simply tell him of your concern, explain what you expect from him, and proceed with the punishment. Its amazing how quickly a good spanking will get a man back in “subspace” where he is loving and respectful. Some punishments can include:

1. The easiest and usually most effective is spanking. It is both humiliating and a bit painful for the sub. You can use your hand, a hairbrush, cane, switch, paddle, flogger, crop, shoe, anything really. Make sure he knows the reason, make sure he knows you love him, make sure he knows it is going to hurt. When its done hug him, tell him again you love him, and reinforce with him that you don’t want that behavior to continue, as it is upsetting his keyholder.
2. You can put spikes in his chastity cage. Be careful here as I have heard of some people actually getting a bruised or cut penis from some of the spikes available for some devices.
3. Being tied in an uncomfortable position for a period of time. This can really be painful and uncomfortable, and gives the sub time to reflect on what he did.
4. Prolonging his release date. Yep, that’s pretty effective. Although it really only works if you have a set release date.
5. Withholding teasing sessions. What your sub craves most of all is your attention, so withholding it is about the worst thing that you can do to him. Be careful here though because after a few days in chastity your sub is going to be pretty emotionally vulnerable, and could easily feel neglected by being ignored. So, if you are withholding your attention make sure he knows why and that he is just not being put on the back burner for something more important than he.

When you feel the time comes for your sub to have full orgasm I encourage you to let him build up to it, and make it special. I also could not encourage you more, that if you want to continue with his current lock up, that you ask him. That’s right ask him! Say something like, “You have been a very good boy and have earned an orgasm, but I am really enjoying myself, and don’t want to have to start all over, when you are so horny and loving right now. If you ask me to, I will put you back in your device, and I will promise to be more demanding, more cruel, more kinky, and an all around better keyholder.” I would make sure he is right on the edge of an orgasm when you do this as it will really drive him crazy! Be prepared, he will eventually say he needs an orgasm, don’t look at it as him rejecting you, look at it as nature overpowering his need to submit. If he does choose to orgasm, if you would like to continue his chastity, and devotion to you, make sure he puts his device on immediately after he has his orgasm. When a man has an orgasm, he immediately loses all his submissiveness, and it is important to have him in his device to start building it again.

Mistress/cuckold Rules of Engagement

1. Cuckold will wear his cock cage at all times unless his Mistress has given permission to remove.
2. Cuckold will fully shaved all facial hair and pubic hair. Additionally, cuckold, will closely trim all remaining hair from his body. 
3. Cuckold will adopt a feminine name to be used in private and public as appropriate by Mistress and friends.
4. Cuckold will be 100% monogamous to his Mistress.
5. Cuckold will be open, without question to ALL of his Mistress’ sexual needs including public and private cock sucking & anal violation.
6. When told that cuckold is going to be taking my strap-on he will ensure that he is absolutely clean. I will give him sufficient notice.
7. Cuckold will never cum without permission.
8. Cuckold will ALWAYS swallow his cum.
9. Cuckold will do ANYTHING sexual Mistress asks unless it is dangerous, hurtful, or severely unlawful.
10. Cuckold will be respectful and accommodating with all Mistress’ playmates.
11. Mistress using her discretion, can share cuckolds role and duties with close friends and acquaintances.

Any violations of these rules will be strictly punished.

Truly fucking an orgasm out!

Happy Fetish!

Chastity is for couples by Mistress Ivey

That’s right. Male chastity is not just for men, nor is it just for women who want to control their men. Male chastity is for couples! Both the submissive male and his partner stand to gain from incorporating male chastity into the relationship. The relationship as a whole stands a great deal to gain as well.

If you are the female whose partner has been talking to her about incorporating male chastity into your relationship, but you have reservations, let me put you at ease. First of all, you should relax. I know you may have concerns, issues, and yes. Even a certain amount of fear. Taking total control of your family (Female Led Relationship) can be a daunting task. But that’s not what I am talking about here.

All I am talking about is taking control of one small aspect of your relationship. The sex. By utilizing a chastity device of some kind, you are taking the first step toward controlling your partner. He may or may not be keen on the idea. If he is the one who approached you about male chastity, then half your job is done. On the other hand, if this is your idea, you may have to incorporate a little tease and denial to get what you want. Never fear, it will work.

Anyway, the first step is for you both to agree to give male chastity a try. Sit down at your kitchen table to discuss it. Why the kitchen table? Simply because it is a place where you can both feel comfortable and relaxed. It’s neutral ground, so to speak. Talk about the possibilities. The benefits to both of you (we will cover those in an upcoming post). Get used to the idea. Don’t try to push anything on your partner. Let him or her think about it, maybe do some research on their own. Give it a few days to sink in and then sit down and talk again.

The hardest part is being open and honest with your partner. But this is paramount. If you are not totally honest about your feelings, then you are doomed to fail. Don’t be afraid to talk openly. Remember, this is the person who has seen you naked many, many times. This is the person who knows your strengths, your weaknesses, and your vulnerabilities. If you can’t be open and honest with him or her, then what chance does your relationship have, anyway?

If you can both agree to give male chastity a chance, then be realistic about it. Start out slow and easy. Don’t plan on more than a month or even a week for a trial period. Decide in advance when and how many orgasms will be permitted for the male during this trial period. Even who can decide when they will be permitted. Remember, this is just a trial period. If you don’t like it, don’t get any enjoyment from it, don’t see how it can improve your relationship, then you can always quit…

How to select a chastity device.
There are many different chastity devices on the market. Everything from cheap Chinese knock-offs of the most popular brands to complete customized chastity belts costing several hundred dollars. I will only cover the those that I feel are the most reasonable for those just starting out.

Before we begin, let me state that a chastity device is a very personal choice. What one couples likes may not be the best choice for the couple next door. There are a great number of things that need to be taken into consideration, such as penis size (when flaccid), the amount and type of exercise your guy gets, travel, and overall comfort. It may take some experimentation to find exactly the right device for you and your guy.

CB-x000 Series.
Lets begin with the most popular, the CB-x000 series which includes the CB-6000, the CB-6000s, the CB-3000, the Curve, and (if you can still find one) the CB-2000, all of which are made by A.L. Enterprises, Inc. ( cb-x.com ).

All of these chastity devices are made of acrylic and are welded together at the center. They come with a variety of base-ring sizes so you don’t have to worry about ordering a particular size. However, the CB-6000s was released to accommodate those with a slightly smaller penis than average. They do NOT make one for the extra large penis, however. They also offer a set of “spikes” called “Points of Intrigue” which dig into the top-base of the penis should it attempt get hard. There are three different lengths of spikes included with each set. Personally, I think they are over-priced at $45us per set. But they DO work well!

I don’t recommend the Chinese knock-offs because they are usually NOT made of acrylic.

Pros:
Well made.
Reasonably priced
No measuring required.
Spikes are available.

Cons:They can break.
Spikes are an expensive addition.
Cause a visible pant-bulge.

Customized Steel.
To avoid breaking, most people will choose to go with a metal device. There are several different styles to choose from. Mature Metal ( maturemetal.com ) will custom build any of their chastity devices to fit the way you want your chastity device to fit. They offer several designs. You can get spikes with some models, but not all, for an additional charge. Of course, being customized, these chastity devices will cost you a little more. But if fit is important to you, this might be the way to go.

There are other customizing companies out there, but Mature Metal seems to have the best customer relations and best way to insure proper fitting BEFORE you buy. So if you are looking for a custom fit, Mature Metal is the way to go.

Pros:
Customized to fit properly the first time.
Steel construction won’t break.
Spikes available.

Cons:Can cause a pant-bulge.
Fairly expensive.
Long wait because of customizing.

Standard Steel.
There are many companies that make standardized devices out of steel. However, many do not use surgical stainless steel and those models will often corrode and/or cause irritation. Be VERY careful in selecting one of these.

However, if purchase from a reputable company, you can often save a great deal of money because they usually only come in one or two sizes. The nice part is that you can get quite a large variety of styles. Some have urethra catheters (usually removable) just in case you are feeling extra sadistic. Some brands offer some kind of spikes that can be included or not, depending on your mood. Some of these spikes are quite sharp and may even bring a little blood on occasion. So, I would recommend filing them down just enough to remove the sharp tip. They will still be effective.

Pros:Inexpensive.
Many different choices.
Optional catheter.

Cons:Spikes can be too sharp, requiring filing.
Limited sizes available.
Difficult to judge quality of steel.
Usually cause a large pant-bulge.
Airport security.

Silicone Devices.
There are a couple of companies making male chastity devices out of pure silicone. These stretch to fit snugly and are usually make from one piece. So there are not little parts to lose, no sizes to worry about. The most famous of these devices is the “Birdlocked” ( birdlocked.com ) which can be bought with spikes in the head of the device. Most devices put the spikes along the penile shaft. But the spikes are NOT removable and you would have to purchase more than one device if you didn’t want the spikes always there.

While silicone is a nice stretchy material, it does not breath well. It fits very snugly and may not prevent an erection as much as a harder material would. However, because of its elasticity, one size will fit everyone. The Birdlocked comes in three size, getting the right one can be a matter of trial and error. In spite of what the manufacturers might have intended, these devices often do cause a bit of pant-bulge, but not as much as their steel or acrylic counterparts. All in all, the silicone devices are not as popular as many other devices. Why, I don’t know. They seems to do well.

Pros:One size always fits.
Smaller pant-bulge.

Cons:No removable spikes.
Not as comfortable as other devices.
Does not breath well.

HolyTrainer.
In all my research into male chastity devices, I have never run into a device as perfect as this one. It is made by Novamédia of Sweden. The HolyTrainer ( holytrainer.com ) is unique among male chastity devices in that it is made from a bio-sourced resin (plants) that is extremely strong. It has the unique property of becoming ply-able when heated. The HolyTrainer is formed without seams which means it won’t break where most plastic and acrylic devices break. At normal room temperature is is very strong, but when heated normal body temperature (such as when you wear it) it becomes somewhat soft and will become quite comfortable.

The material used and the unique design of this device make it ideal for travel. It does NOT require the usual pad lock and the only (tiny) metal piece used for locking the device in place does NOT set off airport metal detectors. If your guy travels a lot, this will be a really big plus! The base ring is also made of the same bio-sourced resin and will form-fit itself your guy’s body the first time he wears it.

The HolyTrainer comes in two sizes (like the CB-6000) for those smaller than normal guys. However, not only does the device NOT produce a pant-bulge, it is extremely comfortable to wear even while riding a bicycle. I am told (by a reliable source) that is the most comfortable device on the market. (Believe me, we have tried them all!) While it does not have any provision for adding spikes, it can be worn 24/7 removing it only for a thorough cleaning once a week (recommended for ANY device!)

Pros:Reasonably priced.
Comfortable.
No pant-bulge.
Less apt to break.
No problem when traveling.
48 hour delivery (believe it or not)!

Cons:
No spikes.

All in all, the best device I have ever tested! I would strongly recommend the HolyTrainer as your number one choice for a male chastity device. If you heat it in hot water, it can be molded to fit any penis. Put it on your guy, have him take a hot shower, and the device will mold itself to come extremely comfortable.

How to begin…
Once you have your chastity device, you should engage in a brief test period. You should put it on him. Let him wear it for a day, then check to make sure there are no major problems. That is, make sure it doesn’t pinch him or chaff him anywhere. If it does, try to correct the problem. You may also have to wait a few days for him heal before testing it again.

To prevent chaffing, use a good lubrication on his penis before putting it back on. Most water-based lubes will dry out too quickly. I suggest a oil-based or silicone-based lubricant. (Johnson & Johnson makes a Baby Oil Gel that works well for this.) If chaffing still occurs, you may have to resort to a different chastity device. Once he can get through a day without any problems, try it for twenty-four hours. If all goes well, try three days this time.

Once you have a device that he can comfortably wear day after day, be sure to clean and inspect it (yourself) at least once a week. Taking a shower together is good way to do this, but by all means, not the only way. The device does not need to be removed for cleaning. Use a liberal amount of soap and water to clean his penis every few days. Remember, he probably can’t see it well enough to clean it himself, so you inspect it for him. This can be part of the teasing process as well.

Don’t let him (or anyone else) tell you that he needs to have an orgasm to prevent any kind of disease. He doesn’t! I checked with more than one doctor on that, so trust me. He can easily go for a week, a month, even six months or a year without having an orgasm. When the sperm in the body gets old, it will be released inside the body and will be quickly absorbed by the rest of the body. All this happens without him even knowing about it.

Blue-balls is something that is vastly misunderstood as well. Blue-balls is a condition that occurs when a man gets frequently aroused, but does not have an ejaculation for a long period of time. How long depends on the individual and the amount of arousal. What happens is this: He gets aroused and his body (testicles in particular) begin producing sperm (or fluids for feeding and transporting the sperm (in the case of a vasectomy) along the urethra for eventual ejaculation. If that ejaculation does not occur, there is a build up these things in the body (particularly the balls). This may cause him to feel a slight aching in the groin (or balls) when he gets his next erection (or tries to). It is harmless. It’s all a part of the game.

After a few weeks of not getting have an orgasm, his body will limit the amount of sperm etc. that it produces and the effects of blue-balls will go away. (No more groin pain.) So you see, blue-balls is nothing to be concerned about. In fact, you may take some joy in the fact that he gets them. After all, it’s just another reminder that he is yours and is not allowed to cum without your permission…

Learning to be in charge…
This is one area where many women have trouble. Learning to be in charge when you have spent your whole life expecting your partner to be in charge is not always easy. Some women are more assertive than others. But that is really all it takes. Whether your guy approached you about this whole chastity thing or it was all your idea, makes no difference here. Being in charge is really not as difficult as some people believe.

If you had a ten year old child who didn’t always do what you want him/her to do the first time you told them, what would you do? You would tell them again in a firmer tone of voice. Correct? Well, it is really no different here. If you start out being firm, and by that I mean don’t allow him to talk his way out of anything, then you should have no trouble keeping things under control.

You need to adopt a firm stance on things. If you tell him to vacuum the living room carpet and he starts making excuses why he can’t do it, then get firm. Don’t allow him to weasel his way out of it. The firmer you are, especially when just starting out, the less trouble you will have later on. You don’t have to yell or scream. You don’t even have to get angry. Stay calm and insist that he obey you. There are numerous ways to convince him to comply with your every wish, but we will get to that later. For now, just try to be firm. Don’t take “No” for an answer.

When starting out, don’t “ask” him to do anything… Tell him! Don’t say, “Please,” say, “Do it!” Chances are, in the beginning, he will be quite willing to complete any task you set before him, especially if he initially approached you about chastity. You can expect him to defy you in one way or another during the first few weeks. He is testing you. He is testing your resolve and your ability be in charge. Once you realize that that is all he is doing, then you will have no trouble enforcing your rules. If you stand your ground, he will back down. After all, you hold the key to his sexual release. And there is no reason you can’t remind him of that.

And that is all there is to being in charge. Set your mind to it, and never back down…

The Reward & Punishment System.As I said in my last post, you can expect to have your authority tested, in one way or another. It’s not so much a challenge to your authority as it is a test of your resolve. Be prepared. Don’t back down.

The best way to maintain discipline (in my opinion) is through a good reward program. This doesn’t need to be anything formal (or even written down), but you should keep track so that you can keep a check on yourself, as well as your guy. Yes, you need to keep track of the rewards you give him. Why? Because it is too easy to slip into a complacency in which you don’t do your part. That is, you don’t give him the rewards he deserves. So get yourself a note book, or one of those journals you can use like a diary. Write down EVERY thing he does for you and the reward you gave him for it.

So what is a good reward system? Fondling him through his clothing can be a reward. Letting him please you sexually can be a reward. But the best rewards of all are those times when you take the time to tease him sexually even if he will not get to have an orgasm. If you truly want your relationship to prosper and flourish, you need a good reward system in place. The more attention (yes, sexual attention) you give your guy, the better the system will work.
Every man’s goal, not just a chaste man, is to receive sexual gratification. By locking him in chastity, you have removed every other kind of sexual gratification he could get BEFORE you locked him up. Now, the only thing he gets is what you chose to give him. That is why I have always said, “You can’t tease him too much.” He will enjoy it even if all you do is hug him, squeeze his balls or bottom, kiss his cheek and tell him that he is doing a great job.

However, you really should plan on at least one long (sixty minutes or more) tease session a week. You could tease him two or three times a week for thirty minutes each, and that would be even better. The more time you spend each week with him laying naked on the bed while you “play” with his body, the more he will appreciate it, and you. But it’s really all those short little teases you give him on a daily basis that keep him coming back for more. That means he will be better behaved. The minute he thinks you are taking all his hard work for granted, he will begin to doubt your ability to lead. Don’t let that happen!
Now, about those tests… Whenever he slips up, fails to do as you require, or even smarts off, it is time to implement the other half of the Reward/Punishment system. Punishment can range from a simple scolding, to a severe paddling, or anything in between. You can make him stand in the corner, balance a book on his head, or even wear a pair of clothespins on his nipples for ten minutes. It doesn’t matter what the punishment is as long as the severity fits the crime.

One of the best punishments I know of is adding time until his next orgasm. The key to this type of punishment is not placing his orgasm so far in the future that a few days one way or the other won’t matter. If you try to keep his orgasm within thirty days from today, you will be doing well. One way of doing that is to set a date in the near future, say… Two weeks away. Mark it on the calendar with a an “O” so that he can see it and he can count the days. Now each time he does something to displease you, you can cross it off and move it the appropriate number of days. (See the photo above.)

As you can see, as long as you can keep moving the expected release date, he will have something to shoot for, but he may never actually reach that day. It is a form of teasing as well as a form of punishment. Of course, you can give him an orgasm any time you want. Maybe he deserves a reward for going above and beyond what you expected and has earned a big reward. No one says you can’t give him one anytime you like. But the system above allows you to create an ever increasing time between orgasms without him even realizing what is happening.

Yes, you can make up reasons for moving the release date, if you like. For example, “Thursday is not a good day for me, let’s move it to the weekend.” Or, “Your birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, why don’t we just hold off until then?” Perfectly good reasons to move his release date down the line without moving it too far. I know one woman who actually made her husband wait an entire year using this method of reward and punishment. She simply kept moving the date a few days at a time. Her husband was always less than two weeks away from his release date and never got upset when it got moved. She kept him happy by giving him lots of sexual attention (or taking some for herself) and he just never realized how long it had been since his last orgasm because he was focused on the next one.

There you have it. Life is good. If your man is in chastity, life can be great! All you have to do is take charge and tease the hell out of him, and have fun doing it!

Mistress Ivey

Pegging

There are very polar views on pegging out there. I see a lot of people out there that use it as a punishment, but I cannot relate. I fall on the other side of the spectrum, loving it. I am fortunate to have a keyholder who has been willing to explore this with me. I don’t think she still fully understands it still, because she does not get the same enjoyment from anal herself.

Why do I love pegging?

My keyholder looks amazing with a strapon
It puts me in a very submissive headspace
Prostate stimulation is amazing
It can be overwhelming and makes it hard to think about anything else
She can get off on it, especially with a double sided dildo
The orgasms are mind blowing
A handsfree prostate orgasm even happened once

I find that refraining from any orgasms for the week and having 0 cock stimulation while getting pegged really allows me to focus on the pleasure. I like when I am forced to stay locked or when she just holds my soft cock and balls in her hands. I like when she completely takes over and tells me what to do so I don’t have to do any thinking for myself. We usually throw on a porn for inspiration for her and to set the right mood. I prefer a really fast thrusting motion over harder and deeper thrusts. The fast motion creates such an overwhelming sensation that I cannot think straight or even really respond to her… that is my heaven. She is working on her skills, and I keep reminding her that it is ok to use a dildo with her hand if she gets tired. Each time she gets a bit rougher and more degrading… I cannot wait until she trains me to take it like the girls in our porno’s and makes me hold out as long as them.

Force of Will

m/f (or m/m) couples game • ballbusting, tease & denial

You will need:
- 1x rope
- something large/heavy to tie the end to (bedframe, etc)
Setup:

- agree to safeword
- tie one end of rope firmly around male partners balls
- tie other end of rope to large/heavy or immovable object (such as bedframe, desk, etc).
- tie his hands behind his back (optional)

Note: object should ideally be heavy enough to not be moveable by balls unless put under a lot of force. there should be only enough slack to make it a short distance from object before the rope is tense. ideally, he can only *barely* make it to his partner before the force is too much to continue.

How to play:
- The game is very simple: the male partner must make the female partner cum at all costs.
- The female partner dictates her distance from the male partner throughout, teasing him so that although he can reach with his head to eat her pussy/ass, attempting to fuck her puts too much strain on the rope around his balls.
- The male partner is permitted to cum, but only via penetration (if he can reach/withstand each thrusts tug on his nuts/move the object by force).

Note: you can also try tying his balls to a very heavy lifting weight that can be dragged across the floor (but only with considerable effort). this way, you can keep the tease and denial game moving all around the house (up and down stairs, whatever!)

Have fun!

20 Husband Training Ideas

1. Electro-Shock Collars - Use the device relatively frequently, usually at a low-medium setting and placed somewhere on the genitals. It’s a very effective tool for obedience training

2. Figging - An imaginative use of common ginger root which is readily available in any grocery store. Harmless, completely silent and very intense.

3. Mouth dildo - Ride his face once a week

4. Humbler - Putting him in a humbler is an easy way for the you to ensure 100% compliance from him. Who says “no” when their balls are stretched out and they can’t get out of a grovelling position?

5. Queening - Every morning

6. Chastity device - Enforced 24/7 chastity is part of a power exchange. He will be under your control for a period of time (usually a two weeks). During that time he will not be able to get hard or come without your permission

7. Manual labor - Give his strength and time away to other women as manual labor, sip tea or wine while you chat and watch him work

8. Foot worship – morning and night

9. Bound in the closet - Sprinkled it (by him) with dry rice. Inside the closet with the light off and the door closed so he’s out of her way, he kneels gagged and blindfolded for 20 minutes to ruminate on his queen, their relationship and his role

10. Butt plug - Let him wear it for 1 week at a time

11. Confiscate his underwear - Have him wash, press and fold all of his men’s underwear and take them away for the duration. Take him panties shopping and have him pick out some panties to be worn instead

12. Pegging - At least two times per week fuck him with your strapon, have two sizes of strapon dildos, so he never know what he has to endure

13. Prohibit body hair - Have him shave/wax smooth from the neck down with instructions for him to keep it that way

14. Panty service - Have him hand wash your panties every morning or evening

15. Money - take away his cash and debit cards, insist on tight spending reporting with severe penalties for lapses

16. Ensure testosterone - Find a tough female trainer for a couple of weeks worth of very hard weight and fitness training and mandate gym visits. It keeps his testosterone level very high so there will be a very high level of attention along with constant reminder from straining against his chastity device.

18. Tease - Tease, tease, tease. But don’t satisfy

19. Cold shower - At any random time to enforce the idea of control, but especially after teasing, or after paddling

20. Humiliation - Sucking on a large dildo stuck to a mirror

What Does it Mean to be a Domme?

[or Domina, or Mistress, etc.]

Being a Domme means I am the leader. In charge. It means I call the shots. It means I take responsibility for my sub while s/he is in my care. It means I can relax into who I really am and encourage my sub to do the same.

It does NOT mean that I have to

1. Be angry all the time
2. Use a strap-on, whip, or handcuffs
3. Be a lesbian, bi-sexual, heterosexual, or asexual
4. Wear leather, lace, thongs, latex, high heels or any other damn thing I don’t feel like wearing.
5. Avoid blowjobs or give blowjobs
6. Think men are worthless worms or women are superior in every way
7. Have sex, love sex, hate sex, only like certain positions in sex
8. Want monogamy, polyamory, or to swing
9. Be emotionless, unfeeling, or cold

I’m sure some of those will be true or will happen at one time or another…but they are not requirements or rules. And for some women, being a Domme (or Mistress or Domina) might mean some of those things, or none of them.

Because being a Domme means I can fully and joyfully embrace who I really am, what I really enjoy, who and how I really love. No one gets to tell me that I’m not a Domme unless I do this or if I don’t do that.

Being a Domme means I can express love and affection if that’s what I feel. It means I can have what I want. For me, it means that I care about my sub and like to enjoy non-D/s time together, too. It means that being a Domme means different things to different women – and there should be only one SHOULD when it comes to how you make that role your own: your sub’s safety and well-being.

As a Domme, the single biggest responsibility and thrill is the absolute trust that a sub gives me when I bind him or take away his decisions. To fail in that trust would be a betrayal of my sub and of myself. That means that I research, I read, I try new ‘toys’ on myself first, I test, I train, and I make sure that I am worthy of the confidence I have in myself and in the trust my sub has in me.

Ultimately, I tell my subs that I want unconditional everything. Trust. Obedience. Vulnerability. Emotion. Certainly that takes time. But in return, I will give them my absolute focus and pleasure and joy and appreciation. I want that for me, and I want that for them.

That’s what being a Domme means – to me. What does it mean to you?

We the Kinky

We the Kinky, of the BDSM Culture, in order to form a more Unified society, establish Safe Sane and Consensual, insure Tolerance, provide awareness against Predators, promote general Wellbeing, and secure the blessings of Knowledge to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Guideline for the Sexually Liberated.

Guidelines of Liberation:

1. Protect yourself - You are the first and last defense for your well being, take the time and effort to know who you are playing with. Vetting someone is not telling them you don’t trust them, it’s telling them that you care about yourself. If they have a problem with this, they may not have your best interests at heart. Additionally, Safewords are a valuable method of communication. Assign no stigma to them, (you are not ruining a scene, or disappointing your partner, by using them) as they can prevent problems; physical, mental and emotional.

2. Inform Yourself - There are many resources for beginners and advanced alike, FIND THEM! Knowledge and furthering your education about kinks will allow you to get more out of your time and allow you to explore new things. It will also help you communicate your needs with a partner (or potential)

3. Know Yourself - While the fantasy that your partner knows you better than you do is great. It is almost never the case early on. Know what drives you, why you choose this lifestyle. What you wish to gain or give. Know what is important to you, and what you need from it.

4. Choose your own Identity - never let someone else tell you who or what you are. Labels can be a trap or even be misleading If you feel you are “something” then don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. For some even having an “Identity” is limiting, so remember that “Choosing not to decide, is still a choice” (and an option)

5. Choose your own Limits - Your limits are exactly that, YOURS. You decide what you Will Not do, or Must Have, in your relationships. No one else can make that determination for you. You certainly CAN choose to have no limits with a trusted partner, but that is YOUR choice, not theirs.

6. Choose your own Kink - Enjoy what you enjoy… It’s OK… You are free to be you. Don’t hesitate to experiment, Read, LEARN. But above all, be kind and true to yourself.

7. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate - Mind reading is not possible. Knowing a person so deeply that you can read or predict them is. But that usually takes years of… you guessed it… Communication. You have to learn how to communicate; your needs, your desires, your fears… even if it’s a crayon drawing, make the effort to make yourself understood. This will only benefit your relationships.

8. Protect your Partner(s) - There are times when someone has placed trust in you. Those times are when they are most vulnerable. This is true for both sides of the slash. Sometimes you can push yourself beyond your own limits “for the sake of your partner” and it’s possible they are doing the same. This scenario can end badly. Simple “yellow” safewords (by either side) can mean the difference between a good scene and a bad one. Additionally, knowing their medical or special needs is critical.

9. Protect your Friends - Be there for them, to talk to, to confide in, on the watch for red flags they may miss. Pay attention to who is approaching them at public gatherings, require communications from them before they leave with people they did not arrive with. Be their safe call. We all have the potential to miss important tells when the NRE (New Relationship Energy) kicks in. Since you are on the outside, your feedback and watchfulness may make the difference one day… Likewise, be ready to accept this same input from another trusted friend.

10. Protect your Community - Be aware of, and Follow, the rules and policies of any venue, Public or Private. Do not Create or Bring Drama to public venues, sometimes it’s unavoidable, so work closely with the venue’s administration to minimize this. Creating problems, or failing to follow established rules and guidelines can get venues closed or create undesired law enforcement interdiction. Don’t be that person.

11. Accept the Variety - Remember that your kink is not everyone else’s just as theirs may not be yours. Be kind and remember that we all have different tastes with the same mantra of Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If we cannot be accepting of each other in this community, we certainly should not expect those outside our realm to accept us.

12. Cause no Harm - Never knowingly out someone, spread rumors about others, or do anything to undermine another relationship (except #8 above). It’s simply bad form. Again, don’t be that person.

Female Domination: Top Ten things to Do

1.Sexual Control
If you want to dominate your man in the bedroom, sexual control is the most basic requirement. This fantasy is about giving you all the sexual power, so your pleasure must come first. Think about it, from the woman’s perspective, most sexual encounters tend to shorter and less satisfying than she would like. Not this time. For this encounter, he is only allowed to orgasm when (and if) you permit it. If he cannot agree to this basic rule, then all bets are off. If, on the other hand, he agrees, well then for all practical purposes you are already in charge of the bedroom. As usual, he will want to rush to the main attraction, but now you can extend the foreplay for as long as you want. And, the hornier he gets, the more desperately willing he will be to do anything and everything you say. The truth is, a certain amount of sexual frustration on his part is what gives you power. Sexual control really is the basis for all domination/submission foreplay.

2.Sexy Enslavement
The next step is to make him your own personal love slave. Order him to serve you wine, give you a massage, strip naked, kneel at your feet… literally anything you want. For this night he is yours…so have fun with it. Just be sure to speak with authority. Tell him what to do, and expect him to obey immediately, without question. Remember, if you want him to treat you like a Queen, you have to act like a Queen. So approach this role play with confidence. Also, you may even want to give him strict rules to reinforce your dominance. A few common ideas: make him only address you a formal title (Queen, Mistress, etc.), prohibit from asking any questions, restrict him from touching your body or himself during foreplay etc. Obviously, he must be punished if he ever breaks any of your rules. Finally, never forget that, though he must wait patiently for when (and if) he get to climax, you face no such restriction. So, use him as a sex slave. This may mean you order him to give you oral sex. Or if you prefer, bring a vibrator into the bedroom. Whatever it takes to get yours. After all, the ultimate goal of any “slave” is the pleasure and satisfaction of his mistress.

3.Bondage
The most direct way to take control of the bedroom is to introduce bondage. This can be as basic as blindfolding him during foreplay and/or sex. Or, it may involve binding his hands or otherwise restraining him. Either way, there is something incredibly erotic about the loss of control. Bondage puts him in a very vulnerable position, which for most men (whether they admit it or not) is a huge turn on.
Binding his hands (or handcuffing him) is good for simple play. But, it is really worth experimenting with slightly more advance bondage. Probably the most popular bondage position is spread eagle- where both his and ankles are tied down to the bed. From this position he can squirm, but he won’t be able to escape. You meanwhile, have total control. You can play with body for as long as you desire. This may include giving him pleasure and stimulation of various kinds, or making him give you pleasure. For example, one rather evil, but fun, thing it try from this position is called face sitting: straddle his face while he’s tied up, and order him to give you oral pleasure. Or, pleasure yourself while he is restrained. Watching (or listening) to you pleasure yourself while not being able to participate (or touch himself) is an intense, but erotic torment for any man. Finally, if you really want be dangerous, use temperature to enhance his stimulation. Ice can really enhance both pleasure and pain…as can heat. You can, for example, drag ice across his chest or carefully drip hot wax on his body while he his restrained. Overall, bondage in its various forms is easiest way to turn your hunky man into your own personal little sex toy. Just be sure to play safe! Always use a safeword, and invest in a few toys designed for this type of play.

4.Erotic Teasing
Once you have him tied up, what’s next? Well, the best thing to do now is tease him mercilessly. There is nothing sexier than watching your man squirm helplessly while you have your way with him. Touch his body slowly, rub him, kiss various parts of his body, tickle him, speak to him seductively…whatever it takes to drive him wild with lust. The main idea here is to bring him close to climax, and then deny him. In addition to be fun, erotic teasing reinforces the exchange of sexual power. He only gets to release if and when you want him to. Until then, his body is your plaything. Obviously, all of this is highly related to number 3. There is a ton of overlap between teasing and bondage. But, you can certainly tease him without bondage. Just act as seductively as possible, and it will drive him crazy. In the context of idea 1 (sexual control) even mild teasing can have a dramatic effect on him. So have fun with it…casually introduce some new lingerie, tell him how wet you are, neglect to wear underwear…whatever. You can even tease him before the foreplay officially starts. Leave him a sexy voicemail or text message; he will be thinking about you all day.

5.Corporal Punishment
Admit it, you want him to be your whipping boy. He (secretly) wants it too. So, make it happen! Corporal punishment can refer to anything from light erotic spanking to flogging with a whip or crop. And it can be anything from extremely mild and playful to painful and intense. Early on most women want to approach with caution, starting out with gentle play and gradually becoming more aggressive over time. Obviously, if you are going to experiment with any form of punishment make sure you and your man on the same page. Talk about things beforehand, and keep communication open before and after all sessions, and use a safe word.

6.Non-corporal Punishment
Spanking and/or whipping can certainly be both fun and arousing. But, there are plenty of other, more interesting ways to discipline a naughty boy. Even without exploring hardcore S&M, there are literally hundreds of clever ways to punish him. A few examples: pinch him aggressively, put him in time out, make do a difficult or repetitive task, prohibit him from speaking, physically gag him, use clothespins on his body, make him wear a collar and leash, make him lick your boots and/or feet, temporarily deny him food or other rewards, etc. Also, as discussed earlier, cold (ice) and heat (wax) can be used to enhance physical pain or as punishments in their own right. And, of course, bondage itself can be a form of punishment (his hands will be tied if he gets too touchy, etc.). The possibilities really are endless, just use your imagination. If all else fails, order him to come up with his own punishments. You may be surprised what kind of things he comes up with. Also, keep in mind, some punishment ideas work well for disciplining him and/or teaching him a lesson, while others may be better if you simply want to torture him a bit for your own amusement. Remember, no matter how sweet and loving you are under normal circumstances, in this context you need to embrace your evil side. This is the one time in life when it’s perfectly ok to be a little cruel and devious. Domination play is strange that way. You torture him, and he loves you for it.

7.Mind Games
Ladies if you really want to dominate the bedroom, you can’t just play with his body…you have to mess with his head! A few ideas:
-Fickle Mistress: Tell him you feel sorry for him- you are going to stop playing with him and give him exactly what he desires, right now. Then start rubbing and kissing him. But then, just before the climax, abruptly change your mind. Or, alternatively, play the opposite game. Tell him you have decided he will not be allowed to orgasm tonight and the decision is final (even if it isn’t). In his desperation, he will suddenly become even more obedient and submissive.
-Playful Threats: Just as your session begins, tell him you are going all out tonight. Tell him to prepare his mind, because you are going to enjoy really making him suffer. He will be both intimidated and incredibly aroused by these threats. Or, tell him that you have something special planned (a really evil new punishment perhaps). Even if you don’t have anything particularly special, the anticipation will drive him crazy. Later, if you didn’t unveil a new punishment, just tell him that he was such a good boy you didn’t need it. He will just have to wait till next time.
-Begging: Make him beg for release, and then tease him about it. Laugh, giggle, and tell him how amusing you find his predicament. This, will of course, make him want to beg even more…creating (for him) a vicious cycle.
-Interrogation: Accuse him of a “crime” or bad behavior. If he denies, tease/torture him until he confesses. The “crime” can just be something silly or sexy (did you masturbate last week? Etc.) Of course, once he admits to whatever it is, you will have punish him for it. The funny thing is, you can play this game whether he is “guilty” of the “crime” or not.
The bottom line is, playing with his mind can be just as powerful as playing with his body.

8.Roleplaying and Fantasy Scenarios
In the bedroom, many people enjoy sexual roleplaying. And why not…what woman does not like getting into costume now and again? Perhaps you’ve played the role of frisky maid or naughty schoolgirl? Well there are plenty of ways to use role playing scenarios in the context of bondage and submission/domination. For some people, role playing a formal scenario can help set the scene and keep things interesting. A few common ideas:
Wealthy Roman lady purchases a captured warrior to be used as her own personal pleasure slave.
Sexy teacher must discipline a male student who simply will not behave himself.
Wicked young princess (or Queen) decides to have some fun with the royal whipping boy.
Seductive sorceress puts a magical spell on a handsome knight.
Female detective uses unorthodox methods when interrogating a male suspect.
Naive delivery boy falls into the clutches of a seductive (and sadistic) dominatrix.
These are just a few ideas. But, again, the possibilities are endless. Develop as scene that suits your own tastes, and have at it.

9.Slave Training
If you plan to play the dominate role frequently (or at least experiment with it occasionally), it may be useful to “train him” in what you like. This may sound crazy, but the truth he won’t become your perfect little sex slave without some training. This could simply mean you establish a basic routine (every scene starts with him stripping, kneeling down, and putting his hands behind his back). Or, you may make him memorize specific commands. Perhaps snapping your fingers means that he is to assume the position for a spanking. Training can also mean you teach him how to give you satisfying massages or foot rubs. The point is, you can train him to do whatever you want. Now, when training him, both positive and negative reinforcement can be quite useful. If he has performed well, tell him (good boy) and perhaps give him some kind of reward. Obviously, if he ever performs poorly, he should be punished. At the very least, you should use the domination fantasy experience to train him in how to give you good oral sex. It may take him a bit, but he will improve. You may soon find yourself having many more orgasms, on a more regular basis, than you ever thought possible.

10.Body Worship
Last but not least, body worship should become a staple of your bedroom activities. Religious folks out there…please do not be offended! This not blasphemy we’re talking about here. Rather, it’s just a common term used in domination play. And, why not? You are sexual goddess, he needs to treat you like one. The thing is, and let’s be honest, there are plenty of times when he is much hornier than you are. He wants it so bad, while you could basically take it or leave it. Well, put all that sexual energy to good use! Have him lavish your body with tender affection and sensual indulgence…kisses, caresses, massage, whatever it is that you like. The advantage of body worship is that is does not have to be explicitly sexual. It could as simple as kissing your hand or rubbing your feet. Just tell him what you want, and watch him go all out. (you may decide to give him some strictly enforced restrictions as well…no groping or touching of the breasts, etc.) Of course you, as the sexy lady, do not have to do anything to reciprocate his affections. You can literally be reading a book or watching tv while he worships your body. Amusingly, if you do ignore him, this will tend to make him more aroused, not less. Try as he might, all this physical affection will do nothing to relieve the sexual pressure building up inside him. Thus, as he obsesses on your body, he gradually become even more aroused (and enslaved). You’re doing nothing, while he is become ever more wrapped around your finger. Oh, what fun!