Your Submission Checklist

RATING

0 = Hard limit, will NEVER do it
1 = Extremely unwilling (will do it under stern orders)
2 = Unwilling (will do it under orders)
3 = Willing (will do it with a suggestion)
4 = Wants to (will do it without prompting)
5 = Really wants to (will ask for it/cannot live without it).

SEX

1. Anal Sex - Sexual intercourse involving a penis entering your anus.
2. Ass Cheek Sex - The use of the ass crack for male genital stimulation.
3. Armpit Sex - The use of the armpit for male genital stimulation.
4. Animal Sex - Sex with an animal (dog, cat, horse etc.)
5. Breast Sex - The use of the cleavage for male genital stimulation
6. Cunnilingus - Sexually stimulating the vagina with a mouth/tongue.
7. Denial - Going without sex often at another person’s command.
8. Double Penetration - Dildo Sexual intercourse in which two orifices are filled.
9. Double Penetration - Multiple Partners Sexual intercourse in which two orifices are filled.
10. Dildo Anal - A non-vibrating artificial phallus in anus.
11. Dildo Oral - A non-vibrating artificial phallus in mouth.
12. Fellatio - Sexually stimulating the penis with mouth/tongue.
13. Finger Sex - Using a finger or multiple fingers for sexual stimulation
14. Genital Intercourse - Sexual intercourse
15. Group Sex - Sexual intercourse with more than one partner.
16. Hand Job - Stimulating a penis with your hand 
17. Including Others - Including others in the physical/emotional aspects.
18. Licking - Using your tongue on another person’s body
19. Massage - Rubbing another person’s body for their relaxation.
20. Phone Sex - Having sexually explicit phone conversations.
21. Rimming - Sexually stimulating the anus with a mouth/tongue.
22. Secret Sex (Public area) - Secretly having sexual intercourse in a public area
23. Secret Sex (Semi-public area) - Secretly having sexual intercourse in a semi-public area
24. Secret Intimacy (Public area) - Secretly being intimate in a public area
25. Secret Intimacy (Semi-public area) - Secretly being intimate in a semi-public area
26. Swinging - Trading your partner/s with other partner/s for sex
27. Sex Outdoors - Having sex outdoors
28. Sex Toys under clothes in public - Going out in public with a sex toy (such as a butt plug) in your body, under your clothing.
29. Teasing - Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by teasing the body.
30. Vanilla - Traditional intercourse without any kinks.

SEX TOYS

1. Beads - Having a string of connected beads (or balls) inserted in to your anus and then pulled out.
2. Butt Plugs - Wearing a “plug” inserted in to your anus.
3. Dildos - Using and/or being penetrated with a non-vibrating artificial phallus.
4. Love Eggs - Variously known as Ben-Wa Balls, Oriental Love Eggs, etc. Two connected balls that are placed inside the body and either vibrate when you move or are battery powered to vibrate.
5. Suction Toys - Suction devices used on specific parts of body, namely nipples/balls
6. Vibrators - Insertable, battery operated that create vibrations for external & internal stimulation

BONDAGE

1. Bondage Light - Lightly binding or restricting the body. Usually more symbolic than actually restrictive.
2. Bondage Heavy - Heavily binding or restricting the body, usually to the point where no, or next-to no, movement is possible.
3. Boxing / Closeting - Being placed in or placing someone in a box or closet.
4. Caging - Being placed in or placing someone in a cage
5. Crucifixion - Affixed or fixing someone to a cross or crucifix-shaped structure.
6. Full Body - Binding or restricting the whole body.
7. Genital - Binding or restricting the genitals.
8. Intricate - Intricately binding or restricting some or all of the body.
9. Mental - Normally done by Hypnotism.
10. Mummification - Being wrapped or wrapping someone - often in cotton, leather, PVC or plastic wrap- from head to toe.
11. Outdoors - Restraint Outdoors
12. Private - Restraint Privately with no other people to see
13. Public - Restraint in view of others
14. Restraint in public under clothes - Restraint in public, but under clothes
15. Restraint Duration: 0-1hr - Restraint duration less than an hour
16. Restraint Duration: 1-3hrs - Restraint duration up to 3 hours
17. Restraint Duration: 3+hrs - Restraint duration for more than 3 hours at a time
18. Restraint Duration: Overnight/Full Day - Restraint duration overnight or full day
19. Restraint Duration: Multiple Days - Restraint duration for multiple days, more than 1 day
20. Suspension Vertical - Binding or restricting someone so they are suspended above the ground, vertically.
21. Suspension Horizontal - Binding or restricting someone so they are suspended above the ground, horizontally.
22. Suspension Inverted - Binding or restricting someone so they are suspended above the ground, upside-down.

BONDAGE TOYS

1. Blindfolds - Acts in which blindfolds are placed over one partner’s eyes to remove that sense (and often heighten others).
2. Body Bags - Restricting the entire body by placing them in a body bag
3. Duct Tape - Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with duct tape.
4. Full Head Hoods - Wearing hoods that cover the entire head, leaving only small holes for vision, breathing, etc. (if even them).
5. Gags ball type - A type of gag that uses a ball to effectively block any verbal communication.
6. Gags bits - A type of gag that uses a bar that goes across the mouth, much like a horse’s “bit”.
7. Gags cloth - Using Cloth as a gag to block any verbal communication
8. Gags inflatable - Using an inflatable devise to block verbal communication
9. Gags phallic - Using a phallic(penis)shape to block verbal communication
10. Gags ring - A type of gag that uses a ring to force the mouth open while providing access to the, now undefendable, mouth.
11. Gags tape - Using adhesive tape across the mouth to create a gag.
12. Harnessing leather - Wearing clothing that harnesses the body without necessarily covering it.
13. Harnessing rope - Wearing clothing that harnesses the body without necessarily covering it.
14. Headphone/Earplugs - Wearing of headphones/earplugs depriving the subject of their hearing (often to heighten the remaining senses).
15. Manacles - Metal bondage equipment
16. Masks - Wearing masks that cover the face.
17. Padlocks - Bondage that involves locks and keys.
18. Plastic Wrap - Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with plastic wrap (Clingfilm).
19. Restraints Ankle - Binding or restricting the ankles.
20. Restraints Arm & leg sleeves - Restricting the movement of the arms and legs by placing them in a confining sleeve.
21. Restraints Hand Cuffs - Binding or restricting the body (usually the wrists) with [hand]cuffs.
22. Restraints Leather - Binding or restricting the body, or partsof, with leather.
23. Restraints Metal - Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with metal.
24. Restraints Rope - Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with rope.
25. Restraints Thumb Cuffs - Using thumb cuffs to restrict a person’s hand movements
26. Restraints Wrist - Binding or restricting the wrists of a person
27. Restraints Wrist to ankle/neck/waist - Binding or restricting from wrists to neck ankle and waist
28. Silk Scarves - Binding or restricting the body, or parts of, with silk scarves.
29. Sleep sacks - Being placed in or placing someone in a bondage device, often made of nylon or other stretchable fabric, used to completely immobilize the entire body.
30. Slings/Swings - Restricting movement by putting them in sling/swing
31. Spreader bars - Restricting the movement of the legs by connecting them to either end of a bar, usually forcing them open.
32. Stocks - Restricting movement by placing the wrists and neck (though may involve ankles) through a set of stocks.
33. Strait Jackets - Binding or restricting the torso and arms by placing them inside a strait jacket.

S & M

1. Abrasion - Skin scratched, scraped, or abraded by a partner
2. Anal Dilation - Deliberately stretching the anus open.
3. Anal Fisting - Placing an entire hand (the term “fist” is often an exaggeration) inside the anus.
4. Asphyxiation - Temporarily preventing the flow of oxygen to the lungs
5. Bastinado - Torturing the soles of your feet.
6. Beating (General) - Acts in which one partner is beaten.
7. Beating Hard - Acts in which one partner is beaten hard.
8. Beating Soft - Acts in which one partner is beaten softly.
9. Beating Back - Beating based acts that focus on the back as a target.
10. Beating Bottom - Beating based acts that focus on the bottom as a target.
11. Beating Chest - Beating based acts that focus on the chest or breasts as a target.
12. Beating Feet - Beating based acts that focus on the feet (usually the soles) as a target.
13. Beating Genitals - Beating based acts that focus on the genitals as a target.
14. Beating Legs - Beating based acts that focus on the legs as a target.
15. Biting - Acts involving biting one partner with the teeth of the other.
16. Choking - Acts involving restricting or cutting off the supply of oxygen.
17. Electricity - Using electricity for sensation or pain.
18. Face Slapping - Slapping the face, usually with an open hand, to cause pain or denote position.
19. Fire play - Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by fire and heat.
20. Hair pulling - Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by having hair pulled.
21. Nipple Torture - Acts by torturing the nipples
22. Pinching - Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by being pinched.
23. Punching - Being punched or punching your partner
24. Scarification - Deliberately causing scars, often through cutting the skin, for adornment.
25. Scratching - Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by being scratched.
26. Spanking on all fours - Beaten with a hand standing on hands & knees
27. Spanking over knee - Beaten with a hand over other partners knee
28. Spanking hard - Acts in which one partner is beaten hard with a hand
29. Spanking soft - Acts in which one partner is beaten softly with a hand.

S & M TOYS

1. Belt/Strap - Acts in which one partner is beaten with a belt/strap
2. Caning - Acts in which one partner is beaten with a cane.
3. Clothespins - Clothespins applied to body
4. Cupping/Suction - Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by having suction applied to the body.
5. Cutting - Acts involving the sensations andapprehensions caused by being cut.
6. Electricity Tens Unit - Electrosex is a sexual practice involving the application of electrical stimulation to the nerves of the body, with particular emphasis on the genitals, using a power source (such as a TENS, EMS, Violet wand, or made-for-play units) for purposes of sexual stimulation.
7. Electricity Violet Wand - Electrosex is a sexual practice involving
8. the application of electrical stimulation to the nerves of the body, with particular
9. emphasis on the genitals, using a power source (such as a TENS, EMS, Violet wand, or made-for-play units) for purposes of sexual stimulation.
10. Flogging - Acts in which one partner is beaten with a flogger.
11. 
    
12. Hairbrushes - Acts in which one partner is beaten with a hairbrush.
13. Hot Oils - Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by having hot oil dripped on to or applied to the body.
14. Ice Cubes (bottom) - Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by using ice or other cold items on the body.
15. Injections - Injecting (normally saline) in to a part of the body to temporarily engorge it.
16. Figging - Use of ginger in ass
17. Nipple Clamps - Placing clamps on the nipples to cause pain.
18. Nipple Weights - Applying weights to the nipples, or usually to clamps on the nipples, to stretch them, generally to cause pain.
19. Paddling Acts in which one partner is beaten with a paddle.
20. Piercing temp - Exploring the concept of body piercing but in a manner that is temporary.
21. Piercing Permanent - Putting an object through a part of the body for permanent adornment.
22. Riding Crops - Acts in which one partner is beaten with a riding crop.
23. Strapping Full Body - Acts in which one partner is beaten with a strap, full body.
24. Urethral Sounds - “Sounds” are elongated instruments intended for exploring or “sounding” body cavities. “Urethral Sounds” are inserted into the urethra, often for the purposes of stimulation and dilation.
25. Whipping bullwhip - Acts in which one partner is beaten with a bullwhip.
26. Whipping Cat - Acts in which one partner is beaten with a cat whip.
27. Whipping genitals - Acts in which one partner is beaten on genitals with a whip.
28. Whipping knotted whip - Acts in which one partner is beaten witha knotted whip.
29. Whipping switch - Acts in which both partners are beatenwith a whip by taking turns.

FETISH 

1. Abandonment - Being aroused by the idea and/or act of being left behind, abandoned, forgotten, or thrown away. 
2. Acrophilia - Being aroused from heights, in and of themselves, and/or being aroused by sexual or sensual activities at unusual heights. 
3. Acrotomophilia - Being aroused by amputees. This fetish may or may not involve sexual or sensual activity specifically related to the amputated area. 
4. Adult Movies (watching) - Watching of adult movies 
5. Agalmatophilia - Being aroused by statues. This fetish may or may not involve actual sexual acts with statues. 
6. Barosmia - Being aroused from smells 
7. Being Recorded Having photographs taken of you, either naked or indulging in a sexual act. 
8. Bestiality - Sex with animals. 
9. Boot Worship - Worshiping the boots of another person. 
10. Branding - Burning the body, often with a specific design, to leave a permanent mark or scar. 
11. Brown Showers - Being defecated upon by another person. 
12. Catheterization - Inserting a tube in to the urethra to collect urine. 
13. Chamber Pots - Receptacles used for the collection of urine and faecal matter. (Similar to a “Bed Pan,” these pots were used historically in place of indoor plumbing.) 
14. Cock Rings - Putting a ring or having a ring put, usually made of metal or rubber, around the base of a partner’s cock. “Cock Rings” are often used for increased sensation and erection-duration during sex. This results from the blocking of blood flow to the cock. 
15. Corsets - Wearing corsets which control the shape of the waist and hips. 
16. Cross-Dressing - Dressing yourself, dressing a partner or being dressed in a fashion usually symbolic of the opposite gender. 
17. Diapers - Wearing of diapers. 
18. Dirty Sex - Sexual activity in and around dirt, mud, or oil. 
19. Douching - Using a “Douche,” which is a device inserted into the anus that squirts a liquid, often saline, for the purposes of cleansing. 
20. Enemas - Being given or giving an “Enema” an apparatus used for injecting liquid into the intestine by way of the anus, often for the purposes of cleansing. 
21. Erotic Dancing - Erotic Dancing for Dom 
22. Examination (Physical) Having your body physically examined and, often, appraised. Sometimes this includes medical examination role-plays though, here, that is listed as Role-play - Medical. 
23. Exhibitionism - Enjoying the idea and/or act of being seen in a sexual or sensual context. Opinions vary on this activity. Some exhibitionists wish to be seen by nonconsensual viewers, and some prefer only consensual viewers. 
24. Fear - Fear for You/ Fearing someone 
25. Feathers/Fur - Being aroused by someone wearing feathers/fur 
26. Food Play - Using food like cucumbers in play 
27. Foot Worship - Worshiping the feet of another person. 
28. Golden Showers - Being urinated upon by another person. 
29. Gun Play Scenes that involve the use of guns as props. 
30. High Heel Worship - Worshiping the high-heeled shoes of another person. 
31. Infantilism - Treating a partner as an infant or being treated as an infant. “Infantilism” is an extreme form of “Age Play” and can include anything from role playing and dress-up to diaper wearing and usage. 
32. Knife play - A form of consensual BDSM edge play involving knives, daggers, and swords as a source of physical and mental stimulation. 
33. Latex - Clothing made out of, or involving, rubber or latex. 
34. Leather - Clothing made out of, or involving, leather. 
35. Lingerie - Wearing women’s lingerie. 
36. Medical Instruments - Using medical instruments in play Needles Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by using needles on the body, either scratching with them, or poking them. 
37. Oral/Anal Play - Engaging in sexual activity in which a partner uses his/her mouth or vice versa to stimulate and arouses your anus and/or surrounding areas. 
38. Pain - Acts involving physical pain. 
39. Posing for Erotic Photos - Having photographs taken of you, either naked or indulging in a sexual act. 
40. Prostitution (real) - The subject takes on and acts out a role based on being a male or female prostitute, selling themselves to another person for sex. 
41. Public Exposure - Exposing yourself in public 
42. PVC - Clothing made out of, or involving, PVC (the shiny plasticy material). 
43. Rape Fantasy - Acts that explore being sexually used, nominally against your will, by another person. 
44. Rape Fantasy Gang- Acts that explore being sexually used, nominally against your will, by more than one other person. 
45. Recording Scenes - Having video taken of you, either naked or indulging in a sexual act. 
46. Sensory Deprivation - Having the amount of sensory input you’re exposed to blocked or limited. This often includes segregation from other people and activities, and may utilize blindfolds, earplugs, etc. 
47. Shaving - Removing all traces of hair bodily hair 
48. Skinny Dipping - Swimming in public naked 
49. Spandex - Enjoying the feel and look of spandex on others or yourself. “Spandex” is often used for active wear and conforms to the body when worn. 
50. Speculums (anal) - A medical device used to spread and dilate the anus. These are often used in role playing scenes. 
51. Spitting - Being spit on or spitting on someone 
52. Supplying partners - Providing subs for your Dom for a variety of purposes. This activity may result in group play or simply the use of an additional sub by a Dom. 
53. Swallowing Semen - Swallowing the semen. 
54. Taking Erotic Photos - Taking photographs of you or someone else, either naked or indulging in a sexual act. 
55. Tasting Yourself - Sampling your own flavour – most often this refers to either your own semen. 
56. Tattoos - Adorning the body by permanently applying ink under the skin. 
57. Tickling - Acts involving the sensations and apprehensions caused by tickling thebody. 
58. Uniforms - Wearing uniforms that have a given significance. 
59. Voyeurism - Watching someone, often without their knowledge, in a situation with sexual connotations. For example, watching someone undressing or having sex

POWER PLAY 

1. Begging - Have to beg before something is allowed 
2. Behavior Restrictive Rules - Having rules imposed that govern 
3. behaviour in general, and prevent some specific behaviours. This is often coupled with a “Contract,” which details the rules and is agreed on and signed by all parties involved. 
4. Breath Play - Also called Asphyxiation. Acts involving restricting or cutting off the supply of oxygen. 
5. Chastity Belts - Using an apparatus to prevent access to the genitals and to promote chastity. (Also known as “Chastity Devices,” because of the wide selection of chastity implements now available that do not include a belt.) 
6. Clothing choice - Either choosing for or having your clothes chosen for you by a partner. This can occur in conjunction with “Forced Dressing.” 
7. Cock Worship - In BDSM, any type of “Worship” implies directed affection and emotional and physical attention. “Cock Worship” means taking this special care of the cock of a Dom’s choosing. 
8. Collars - Making someone or being made to wear a collar. For many, “being collared” is representative of a long-term committed relationship. 
9. Collar and Leash - Wearing a leash, attached to a collar. 
10. Competition - Competing with one or more sub or making a sub compete with other subs for the pleasure of a Dom. 
11. Crawling - The act of crawling on all fours to denote submission. 
12. Eye Contact Restriction - Having to whom, when, how, and for what reason a sub is allowed to make eye contact controlled and restricted. 
13. Following Orders - Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as they give you specific formal orders to follow. 
14. Food Choice/Directed Eating - Having your food choices made for you, usually without the ability to appeal. 
15. Forced Bisexuality - Sexual acts with members of the both sexes, nominally against your will. 
16. Forced Dressing - Being forced or forcing someone to dress in a certain way. 
17. Forced Exercise - Being forced or forcing someone to exercise. This practice can be for fun, for punishment, or in conjunction with other forced behavior and D/s practices such as forced weight loss or other forced physical changes. 
18. Forced Heterosexuality - Sexual acts with members of the opposite sex, nominally against your will. 
19. Forced Homosexuality - Sexual acts with members of the same sex, nominally against your will. 
20. Forced Masturbation - Pleasuring your own genitals, with your hand, nominally against your will. 
21. Forced Nudity (Private) - Periods of time spent without clothing, nominally against you will. 
22. Forced Nudity (Around Others) - Periods of time spent without clothing, nominally against you will with other people present 
23. Forced Servitude - Serving another person in specific ways, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, nominally forced to do so against your will. 
24. Given Away (Temp) - Being given, at a partner’s whim, to another person, usually temporarily. 
25. Given Away (Perm) - Being given away, at a partner’s whim, to another person, permanently. 
26. Hot Waxing - Also known as “Wax Play,” this practice involves pouring or dripping hot wax on your sub for a mixture of pleasure and pain. (Remember, coloured wax is hotter!) “Waxing” may also imply the removal of hair when removing the cooled wax. 
27. Housework - Making someone do or being made to do housework. This can either be done in a sexual, sensual way or in a more straight-forward way. 
28. Humiliation (Private) - Acts in which you are humiliated, degraded, or shamed, in a private setting. 
29. Humiliation (Public) - Acts in which you are humiliated, degraded, or shamed, in front of others. 
30. Humiliation (Verbal) - Acts in which you are humiliated, degraded, or shamed, through either the words of someone else (such as name calling) or your own words. 
31. Kneeling - The act of kneeling to denote submission. 
32. Lecturing - An exposition of a given subject for the purpose of instruction or reprimand. 
33. Manicures - Giving another person a manicure or receiving one 
34. Name Change - Renaming your sub or being re-named by a Dom either temporarily or permanently. 
35. Orgasm Control - Having a partner control if and when climaxing is allowed. This control can be practiced for short term or extended periods of time. 
36. Orgasm Denial - Being prevented from or preventing someone from climaxing. “Orgasm Denial” can refer to the denial of climax in the short term as well as for extended periods of time. 
37. Orgasm on Command - Having to orgasm on the command of another person. 
38. Personality Modification - Forcing or being forced or encouraged to change aspects of your personality by a Dom. This is often accomplished through tactics such as punishment and reward. 
39. Pussy Worship - Worshiping the pussy of another person. 
40. Sensation Deprivation - Acts involving depriving the subject of their senses (often to heighten the remaining ones). 
41. Serving Orally - Stimulating a partner with your mouth. 
42. Sexual Deprivation -Preventing someone or being prevented from having sexual interactions. This is often done in conjunction with “Chastity Devices” and “Orgasm Control 
43. Sleep Deprivation - Not being allowed to sleep. “Sleep Deprivation” can result in altered states of mind and may impair decision making. 
44. Speech Restrictions - Restrictions as to what you’re allowed to say 
45. Standing in Corner Have to stand in corner Struggling Being made to struggle against Dom 
46. Symbolic Jewellery - Being given jewellery by a Dom or giving a sub jewellery that represents something special, such as your relationship, your expectations, behaviour modification, etc. 
47. Waterboarding - A form of torture in which water is poured over the face of an immobilized captive, thus causing the individual to experience the sensation of drowning. 
48. Weight Gain/Loss - Forcing someone to or being forced to either gain or lose weight by a Dom. This may be coupled with “Forced Exercise.” 

ROLE PLAY

1. Role Play (General) - Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles. 
2. Age Play - Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on being a different age (such as babies or naughty young girls). 
3. Animal Play (Cat) - Scenes in which the subject takes on and acts out a role based on being a cat. 
4. Animal Play (Pig) - Scenes in which the subject takes on and acts out a role based on being a pig. 
5. Animal Play (Pony) - Scenes in which the subject takes on and acts out a role based on being a pony 
6. Animal Play (Puppy) - Scenes in which the subject takes on and acts out a role based on being a puppy. 
7. Chauffeuring - Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as their formal driver. 
8. Education - Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on a scholastic teacher/student setting. 
9. Initiation Rites - Being made to (or asked to) or making someone perform some sort of task or ritual, pass some sort of test or challenge, or do some other symbolic act in order to gain acceptance, approval, or access to something coveted. 
10. Interrogation - Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on interrogations where one person is the interrogator and the other the subject. 
11. Kidnapping - Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on one partner being kidnapped. 
12. Medical Scenes - Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on the medical world such as Doctor/Patient. 
13. Physical Examinations - Having your body physically examined and, often, appraised. Sometimes this includes medical examination role-plays though, here, that is listed as Role-play 
14. Prison Scenes - Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on the prison world such as Sadistic Jailer/Vulnerable Inmate 
15. Prostitution (pretend) - Scenes in which the subject takes on and acts out a role based on being a male or female prostitute, selling themselves to another person for sex. 
16. Punishment Scene - Engaging in a scene that bases around the act of punishment. 
17. Religious Scenes - Scenes in which the participants take on and act out roles based on the religious world such as confessionals or Bishop/Nun. 
18. Serving as Art - Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as a [usually immobile] piece of artwork such as a statue. 
19. Serving as Ashtray - Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, using a part of your body as a receptacle for their cigarette or cigar ash. 
20. Serving as Furniture - Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as an immobile piece of furniture. For example, on all fours as a table or a footstool. 
21. Serving as Maid - Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as a maid. For example, serving tea while wearing a uniform. 
22. Serving as Toilet - Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, as toilet. 
23. Serving Other Dom (supervised) - Serving other Dom’s with your Dom present 
24. Serving Other Dom (unsupervised) - Serving other Dom’s without your Dom 
25. Serving (Sexually) - Serving another person, putting their pleasure ahead of your own, in whatever sexual way pleases them. 
26. Strap on Dildos - Using and/or being penetrated with an artificial phallus that fastens about a female partner’s waist.

Triskele by Adult Kink Life

Perhaps you know or perhaps you have asked yourself why is the Triskele the symbol for those in the lifestyle? What does it all mean? Or perhaps you had a general idea, with that we bring you the meaning of life…

When we break down BDSM it often has three parts that are closely related, but are different.

~ First we know that by looking BDSM we know that it can be split into three areas.
1. B&D - BDSM - Bondage and discipline
2. D&S - BDSM - Dominance and submission
3. S&M - BDSM - Sadism and masochism

~ Second, the lifestyle has and promotes a three way creed.
1. Safe
2. Sane
3. Consensual

~ Lastly any BDSM lifestyle participant can be identified by one of three groups.
1. A Top (A Dominant, Master or Top)
2. A bottom (A submissive, slave or bottom)
3. A Switch (A person who may be able to switch or serve in both roles)

If you look at the Triskele you will notice there are shapes. The shapes are meant to show how one area of B&D, D&S and S&M are separate, but can easily be blended. They appear the same but are clearly distinct.

But why is it black? The blackness represents the dark desires of a person and their ability to unleash or control them. The silver or metallic can represent chains, servitude, and ownership. Other colors could represent sexual orientation.

The holes (not dots) represent the fact that something or someone is missing. BDSM can not be preformed by one person, thus leaving a hole within them. It is a hole that can only be filled by another. A Dominant requires a submissive and a submissive requires a Dominant.

The ring represents the community. A container of all the parts that understands, respects, protects and embraces its own for their lifestyle choice, while understanding one area is no more or less than the other.

Discipline Vs Punishment

Discipline is training that corrects, molds, empowers or enhances. Punishment is when there are consequences set for the submissive when they break a rule or misbehave.

Discipline is a teaching relationship between a D/s. Discipline is the day to day structure established for a submissive by their Dominant, whose goal is to shape, mold, guide and teach them. As they are improved they will be a better submissive. The goal in discipline is eventually self-discipline and self-regulation.

Discipline does not always carry punishment. It can be as simple as a looks or gestures. It’s reinforcement of behaviors that better serve the Dominant. The two are not always linked together, but in certain instances can coincide.

Punishment is something the submissive should want to avoid. Some believe a submissive may act out “purposely” to get punished. It is important to note that they may be acting out to get punished because the submissive’s needs are not being met. Often times they do not know how to communicate these needs to the Dominant.

Punishments should clearly identify what the submissive has done wrong, what can be done to correct it, and why the infraction displeased the Dominant. The Dominant should clearly identify why the punishment is to be carried out, then it should be handled as soon as possible.

If the punishment is to soft, the submissive may not learn the infraction likewise if the punishment is to hard, the submissive may become fearful and resentful. Once punishment is administered it should be forgiven. Once punishment is over, the D/s should not carry over. The punishment is a closure for both and should be embraced as such.

Making the distinction between the discipline and punishment is important. Understand the process of both, how they are separate and how they coincide. There are times where the two do exist in the same place at the same time. But by educating ourselves about there differences and similarities we can improve our relationships.

How do you separate both in your dynamics?

Communication

What is one of the most important thing in BDSM relationships? There are no effective and successful relationships within BDSM relationships without good communication skills.

So what do we get from effective and good communication? It’s the effectiveness in communication that distinguishes successful relationships from just a rough talk without any goal. Every communication act is basically aimed at a result where both parties get what they expected from the very beginning and more.
Benefits of good communication, It gives you the opportunity to make a connection in BDSM relationship deeper and stronger, You get the notion of what the other part, either submissive or dominant particularly wants and it builds that special bond built on trust and mutual respect

Good communication is something we learn throughout our life and a difficult task for those who are not willing to cooperate.

Good communication includes:

1. Working on trust -
The first thing about building D/S relationship that is going to last is to have faith in each other.

2. Making it clear and precise -
A lot of disputes and misunderstanding have their roots in the communication which was not clear or precise. A steady flow of vague words make conversation incomprehensible. If you have something to say just do it in a direct manner. Try to get to the core of the matter and make precise orders or give more comprehensive answers.

3. Learning to listen -
Give your partner time to talk out until he/she has said everything. Interrupting the other part half way shows your disrespect for him/her. It is sometimes hard to put your deep emotions into words that’s why listening carefully means you are calmly listening to your partner and pause before giving any answer.

4. Giving feedback -
It is also important not only to listen but to give feedback to your partner. Since all of us have our own perceptions and put different meanings into words, clarifying what has been said is useful to find a common ground. In order to really understand whether you got it right, it’s useful to say it over again to your partner.

5. Keeping your emotions under control -
Never consider BDSM play if you feel you are loosing control of your emotions. Being angry, stressed or frustrated has no good for successful communication especially where the risk takes its place. This is especially true for Dominant as he/she is the one to controlling the scene.

Collars

What does it mean to be collared and what are some different types of collars?

It can mean many things to many different people. For some it is a new beginning in a journey. For others it is a step in the training process. It all depends on the Dominant you are with. Every Dominant has a different way of doing things.

*A collar is given by a Dominant and is received by a submissive.
The collar remains the property of the Dominant and should be given back in the event the journey ends.
*A collar and the person wearing it should be treated with respect.
*A collared submissive should be considered off-limits to all others.
*A collar should be treated with respect at all times. It is not a toy.
*A collar should only be removed by the Dominant at the end of the journey.


1. D/s Commitment: Master/slave, Dominant/submissive, these collars symbolize a commitment for the couple using it, a commitment they’ve defined together. It may or may not have involved a “collaring ceremony”.

2. Consideration: Sometimes a submissive or slave that’s under consideration by a Dominant will wear their collar. For the record, while we commonly say that the Dominant is considering the submissive, it is a given that the submissive is also considering the Dominant.

3. Play Collar: This is what we might call it when the bottom, submissive or slave only wears a collar while “in scene” with a Top, Dominant or Master. It can be a symbol to the players that the scene has begun, that they are currently in D/s mode, meaning they aren’t when not in scene, when the collar is off. As well as a potentially powerful part of the beginning ritual, it can also be a handy way to physically control someone who’s the bottom in the scene.

4. Situational Collar: Sometimes a person will wear someone’s collar for a short period of time, at a party or gathering say, when they want to be shown to be under their protection for that event or for the period of time when the collar is worn.

5. Identity Collar: Some people wear collars to show that they identify as submissive or slave. They might be single, available and looking for a Dominant partner. In this case, the collar means nothing more than that.

6. Pet Play: For example, dog and kitty collars for those who like pet play. If that’s the context for the collar you’re looking at, it will probably be obvious. If unsure, try tossing a ball or dangling something stringy.

Long Distance Relationships

When you combine BDSM with the long distance relationship it takes a critical and creative minds, extra effort, strong faith, consistency, tough commitment and love. It also requires that both people in the dynamic realize the instabilities of a LDR.

When instabilities arise it’s important to not take it personally but remember to deal with issues that arise with clarity. If there is something that can destroy a LDR quickly it’s doubt and miscommunication. In LDR communication is essential if not more so then a RL dynamic.

Where in RL a Dominant and submissive will connect in a physical and mental level a LDR relies on the mental connection then emotional. It’s ALWAYS quality over quantity in these dynamics.

Rules in these dynamics should be clear and thorough and always keeping the expectations realistic. Remembering that one size does not fit all, rules should be specific to your type of dynamic.

Like every other dynamics rules come with discipline. Punishments and rewards. In a dynamic where you are close this would involve the pain and pleasure reward system. In LDR it requires trust that the submissive will carry out the punishments and the Dominant to follow through to assure they are completed.

When you can not have a physical connection with your partner it is more important and crucial that the mental connection STAY intact.

So share yourselves with one another share things in your lives, develop rituals, work on your skills, learn new tricks, take time to show you care and make each time you communicate one to remember.

Always keep these 5 rings of LDR in your mind Reality, Honesty, Growth, Desire and Love.

The Dominant’s Creed

Above all else, a Dominant cherishes their submissive in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives is the greatest gift of all.

A Dominant is demanding and takes full advantage of the power they hold, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from such power over another.

A Dominant is in control of themselves first and foremost, so that they may control others.

As a stern and demanding Dominant, they can cause their submissive to cry real tears; As a consummate lover, they will kiss such tears away without stepping out of character.

In times of trouble, a Dominant will leave the roles behind and be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two individuals.

A Dominant is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality.

A Dominant will never ask a submissive to put them before the submissive’s career or family just to satisfy their own pleasure.

To win a submissive’s mind, body, spirit, soul and love, a Dominant knows they must first win the submissive’s trust.

A Dominant will show their submissive humour, kindness and warmth.

A Dominant must always show their submissive that their guidance and tutoring in knowledgeable and deserving of the submissive’s attention, that the Dominant is a person they can learn from in in whom they can trust their direction.

A Dominant is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, they will fight for their submissive’s honour.

A Dominant proves to their submissive that they are someone who can be leaned upon and depended upon.

When it comes time to teach their submissive a lesson is obedience, a Dominant is a strong and unyielding teacher.

A Dominant will accept no flaw; nothing less than perfection from their student.

Never does a Dominant use discipline without good reason. When they punish their submissive it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand.

A Dominant is always open to communication and discussion; always ready to hear their submissive’s wants and needs.

A Dominant is patient, taking time to learn their submissive’s limits and knowing that as the submissive’s trust in them grows, so to will they grow.

A Dominant never has to demand ritual behaviour from their submissive. Their submissive responds to them out of the want of pleasing them. Compliance comes from the desire to please, not the fear of punishment.

A Dominant understand the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to them.

A Dominant is secure enough to laugh at themselves and the absurdities of life; open-minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.

A Dominant’s tools are mind, body, spirit, soul and love.

A Dominant understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/ther. And B/both of T/them know that love and trust are the only bonds that truly hold.