For those (like you and me and many, many more) for whom words are important, all this is critical. Words are the environment of the intellect. “Slavespeak” is valuable in setting up that environment: along with clothing, setting, and a few other theatrical touches. But words are the most important of all; the others can be shorted or imagined, but not the words. If, for instance you accept the “woman-worship” or goddess model, then She speaks in the voice of a Queen: “Now, you may kiss Our foot.” (Well, the “royal we” may be overkill, and is certainly optional.) But the assumption that the sub (or slave) is eager to serve, to submit and, yes, to suffer for Her amusement, is basic here. No screaming commands: that reflects weakness, not power. Power has a soft voice, confident it will be obeyed without question. That is not to say that the whip is not ready, should the slave fail to meet the Owner’s high standards and expectations, or hesitate because of some disgust with licking dirt from the royal sole–all that must be forgotten when one undertakes to be a slave. Like all good royal rulers, the Owner must know just how far She can go, and push the boundaries in educating (training, and that means punishment) Her slave to fulfill Her wishes. Key rule here is that the Owner must NEVER lose Her temper, for that is losing control. On the other side of the coin, the sub must NEVER let any natural revulsion or self-respect from his previous life as a human being slow his willingness to abase himself before Her and thank Her sincerely for the lessons of Her lash on his worthless slave carcass. Just as an Owner may, if it pleases Her, use the “royal we” to elevate Her speech, a slave should create the image of being as lowly as possible. That’s one reason I advocate third-party references and neutral pronouns. By way of demonstration, here’s that sentence reworded in my recommended slave-speak: “That’s one reason this slave humbly suggests that it refer to itself impersonally as a thing, rather than a person, to help its gracious Owner regard it as a mere object, to be used without consideration for Her pleasure and amusement. The same principle also impels me to advocate capitalizing both nouns and pronouns that refer to the Owner, to exalt Her station in the house. With this BDSM-D/s relationship clearly established in word usage, She can be as self-indulgent as She likes, as critical of shortcomings as the most haughty Domina can be, and as cruel physically as the fiction we enjoy–stopping short only at lasting medical harm. And that limit is justified by saying “I do not wish to damage My chattel property, for then it will not be as useful to serve My Imperial Pleasure.” — all part of the game. Other facets of that “game” include dabbing crushed pinto bean-dip on the soles of boots kept only for the dungeon-bedroom, and ordering the slave to “lick that dogshit from My boots” or using a soft doeskin flogger. Real pain–but not permanent injury–keeps the participants coming back for more. Real pleasure–genuine cunnilingus, enjoyed asa long as it pleases Her to command, and stimulated with a riding crop if the lazy slave slows down–is certainly to be desired by all concerned. And it won’t hurt anyone, certainly not a proper masochist in real slavespace who wants nothing more than to give his Mistress pleasure and enjoy the delights of submitting, serving and suffering for Her in the process.
Sunday, 1 April 2018
Writing to a Dominant Woman – 10 Suggestions (Attributed to Maitresse Eden and Lady Angelika.)
Caveat 1: This approach will not necessarily work for all dominant womans but we feel we were open enough in our suggestions that at the very least, the dominant woman you contact should not accuse you of disrespect or trolling. At the very least, we would hope not. We are hoping other dominant womans will contribute to this with their own advice, opinions, needs, etc.
Caveat 2: The examples we give here should NOT be copied & pasted and used as your own. You should simply find inspiration in them. We hope you will retain the spirit in which these examples are written and personalise them to represent yourself accurately.
Sample introduction letter
Dear Lady,
I have read your profile from beginning to end, not once but twice, to ensure that I didn't overlook anything. I realize that you took the time to write your profile so that others may learn from it.
My first impression of you is that you are a woman deserving respect and only the best. That said I am sincerely hoping that through my interactions, I might show you that I am worthy of your time, affections and dominance.
I would very much like if we could get better acquainted, the how, when, where and pace I leave as your final decision. But if I may humbly propose that whatever is convenient for you, be it, emails, instant messages, chatting, phones calls, meeting for coffee, would be more than satisfactory for me. I understand fully that a lady of your stature does not make rash decisions and that I must prove myself worthy of your time. I understand that things may or may not progress at a pace of your comfort level. I humbly agree to abide by whatever attentions you wish to grant me.
If you will grant me the privilege of meeting you I promise to meet whatever requirements you may have of me. I understand that your safety is of paramount concern and will gladly respect whatever method you deem to be appropriate.
Be clear about what you are seeking.
a) If the dominant woman you are contacting is not looking for applications, respect this! You can write to her and tell her that you realise she isn't looking for applicants but that nonetheless you appreciate her profile and simply wanted to let her know. You can also ask her if she has time to or an interest in entertain a friendship with no strings attached. Do not be pushy! FYI: dominant womans do not keep waiting lists of potentials so don't ask to be put on one. However if you are friends first she may take interest at a later date.
b) If the dominant woman you are contacting has stated what she is looking for and it is not what you are looking for, move to the next profile and don't try and change her mind. Nothing is more insulting then a sub who wants to convince us of something we don't want.
c) If the dominant woman you are contacting hasn't said what she is looking for, you might want to ask her politely in your letter of introduction. If she doesn't respond to this, you might want to just keep looking. There is no guarantee that because someone states she is a dominant woman that she has it all together. Use your judgement.
2. State what attracted you particularly about her profile.
This is important. If the profile attracted you, it is important that you say why. Many of us take the time to write good profiles explaining who we are and what it is that we are looking for as well as our views on life and then BDSM dynamics.
The above is critical. Do NOT limit your attraction to solely our photo. That shows that you are superficial and vain. Most dominant womans know they are beautiful, but wish to be appreciated for things other than our appearances.
Here are a few examples or what you might write:
a) In reading your profile I was impressed by your comment about "such and such" and found it to raise feelings of understanding and agreement within me. It was as if we were on the same page.
b) I believe that we share a similar view of dominance & submission and I have a feeling that it goes beyond that. It would be a privilege to discuss such issues with you and explore our compatibility.
c) When you stated that you wanted a submissive who held similar non-kinky interests as you I was pleased. I am delighted to see that you share my enthusiasm for "such and such".
You should draw parallels when possible. For example, if she mentions she likes to sail, and you have a sailboat, perhaps a short description of it would be good here.
3. Be truthful about your current status and obligations.
If you are married, have kids, have personal obligations, are willing to or not willing to relocate, have religious or social obligations or have time constraints, put them all on the table from the get go. A reasonable dominant woman will appreciate your honesty and decide whether or not she can work within potential limitations. If you get a negative response because you tried to communicate this, then just take a deep breath and move along. (You might however want to make sure her profile doesn't say "no married men" or "only local men" or "must be willing to relocate"). Honesty will always be the best policy.
Caveat 2: The examples we give here should NOT be copied & pasted and used as your own. You should simply find inspiration in them. We hope you will retain the spirit in which these examples are written and personalise them to represent yourself accurately.
Sample introduction letter
Dear Lady,
I have read your profile from beginning to end, not once but twice, to ensure that I didn't overlook anything. I realize that you took the time to write your profile so that others may learn from it.
My first impression of you is that you are a woman deserving respect and only the best. That said I am sincerely hoping that through my interactions, I might show you that I am worthy of your time, affections and dominance.
I would very much like if we could get better acquainted, the how, when, where and pace I leave as your final decision. But if I may humbly propose that whatever is convenient for you, be it, emails, instant messages, chatting, phones calls, meeting for coffee, would be more than satisfactory for me. I understand fully that a lady of your stature does not make rash decisions and that I must prove myself worthy of your time. I understand that things may or may not progress at a pace of your comfort level. I humbly agree to abide by whatever attentions you wish to grant me.
If you will grant me the privilege of meeting you I promise to meet whatever requirements you may have of me. I understand that your safety is of paramount concern and will gladly respect whatever method you deem to be appropriate.
Be clear about what you are seeking.
- Do you want a D/s or S&M play relationship?
- Do you want a monogamous relationship and eventually perhaps a lifetime commitment?
- Are you unsure about what you seek, and will leave that to the two of you to determine?
a) If the dominant woman you are contacting is not looking for applications, respect this! You can write to her and tell her that you realise she isn't looking for applicants but that nonetheless you appreciate her profile and simply wanted to let her know. You can also ask her if she has time to or an interest in entertain a friendship with no strings attached. Do not be pushy! FYI: dominant womans do not keep waiting lists of potentials so don't ask to be put on one. However if you are friends first she may take interest at a later date.
b) If the dominant woman you are contacting has stated what she is looking for and it is not what you are looking for, move to the next profile and don't try and change her mind. Nothing is more insulting then a sub who wants to convince us of something we don't want.
c) If the dominant woman you are contacting hasn't said what she is looking for, you might want to ask her politely in your letter of introduction. If she doesn't respond to this, you might want to just keep looking. There is no guarantee that because someone states she is a dominant woman that she has it all together. Use your judgement.
2. State what attracted you particularly about her profile.
This is important. If the profile attracted you, it is important that you say why. Many of us take the time to write good profiles explaining who we are and what it is that we are looking for as well as our views on life and then BDSM dynamics.
The above is critical. Do NOT limit your attraction to solely our photo. That shows that you are superficial and vain. Most dominant womans know they are beautiful, but wish to be appreciated for things other than our appearances.
Here are a few examples or what you might write:
a) In reading your profile I was impressed by your comment about "such and such" and found it to raise feelings of understanding and agreement within me. It was as if we were on the same page.
b) I believe that we share a similar view of dominance & submission and I have a feeling that it goes beyond that. It would be a privilege to discuss such issues with you and explore our compatibility.
c) When you stated that you wanted a submissive who held similar non-kinky interests as you I was pleased. I am delighted to see that you share my enthusiasm for "such and such".
You should draw parallels when possible. For example, if she mentions she likes to sail, and you have a sailboat, perhaps a short description of it would be good here.
3. Be truthful about your current status and obligations.
If you are married, have kids, have personal obligations, are willing to or not willing to relocate, have religious or social obligations or have time constraints, put them all on the table from the get go. A reasonable dominant woman will appreciate your honesty and decide whether or not she can work within potential limitations. If you get a negative response because you tried to communicate this, then just take a deep breath and move along. (You might however want to make sure her profile doesn't say "no married men" or "only local men" or "must be willing to relocate"). Honesty will always be the best policy.
4. Be truthful about your former experience.
Be honest about what you have experienced. Don't sugar coat it. Give a certain amount of detail but don't go overboard. This is an introduction letter. Also, if your experience is limited to Pro's or online experiences say so.
5. State what it is you are willing to offer.
Before you write what you want, write what you want to offer. This isn't a D/s thing. This is simply a courtesy thing. No one wants a selfish sub that lists only his/her desires. When we get a message that starts off with "Hello Mistress, I'm a slave boy into CBT, humiliation, and love being turned into your own private whore with your strap-on" we tend to either click delete or respond with something unpleasant like "go away, do-me sub". You have to woo a dominant woman. Write it from the heart. List what it is you want and not what it is that you think she wants. This also includes writing about your limits.
Here are a few examples or what you might write:
a) I am happy to offer whatever services you may require in exchange for nothing other than your happiness and the personal satisfaction of knowing that I pleased you in some small way.
b) My pleasure would be to give you pleasure. I find a life of servitude rewarding. I would very much like to learn which ways I would best be able to serve you.
c) I am a masochist who would consider it a privilege to lend my body to such a woman as yourself, for your pleasure and mutual enjoyment. My limits are "such & such".
6. List your skills.
You might want to write something such as "My skills and talents lie in the areas of (cleaning, ironing, chauffeuring, handyman, etc)." You can also list the skills you wish to develop. If your skills are in your profile and you want to be succinct in your initial note, you can say something along the lines of "if it pleases you Miss, please refer to my profile to see my list of skills"
Be honest about what you have experienced. Don't sugar coat it. Give a certain amount of detail but don't go overboard. This is an introduction letter. Also, if your experience is limited to Pro's or online experiences say so.
5. State what it is you are willing to offer.
Before you write what you want, write what you want to offer. This isn't a D/s thing. This is simply a courtesy thing. No one wants a selfish sub that lists only his/her desires. When we get a message that starts off with "Hello Mistress, I'm a slave boy into CBT, humiliation, and love being turned into your own private whore with your strap-on" we tend to either click delete or respond with something unpleasant like "go away, do-me sub". You have to woo a dominant woman. Write it from the heart. List what it is you want and not what it is that you think she wants. This also includes writing about your limits.
Here are a few examples or what you might write:
a) I am happy to offer whatever services you may require in exchange for nothing other than your happiness and the personal satisfaction of knowing that I pleased you in some small way.
b) My pleasure would be to give you pleasure. I find a life of servitude rewarding. I would very much like to learn which ways I would best be able to serve you.
c) I am a masochist who would consider it a privilege to lend my body to such a woman as yourself, for your pleasure and mutual enjoyment. My limits are "such & such".
6. List your skills.
You might want to write something such as "My skills and talents lie in the areas of (cleaning, ironing, chauffeuring, handyman, etc)." You can also list the skills you wish to develop. If your skills are in your profile and you want to be succinct in your initial note, you can say something along the lines of "if it pleases you Miss, please refer to my profile to see my list of skills"
7. List your interests.
It is important that you also put a short paragraph about your vanilla interests. If it is a relationship you are seeking, chances are, you will be spending equal if not much more time outside the kink zone then in it. Deciding whether the ultimate date is going to see the ballet or a ballgame might be something you want to clear up ahead of time. Even if it is not a relationship that you are seeking, for most dominant womans, we appreciate knowing that there is more then a piece of flesh to you.
8. Avoid negativity.
The title says it all but here are a few basics to check for:
Don't put negative comments about other dominant womans in your message. You are addressing a dominant woman you wish to impress and she doesn't particularly care about the other dominant womans you've contacted.
Don't use a jaded tone. An eager (not overly eager) and positive tone is always appreciated.
Don't complain about how you have such a hard time finding the right dominant woman.
9. Revise for grammar & spelling.
When you are chatting, things can slip. Even little posts here or there. But when you are trying to put your best foot forward, isn't she worth a few extra minutes of double-checking? A message full of typos gives the impression of negligence and carelessness.
Also, many dominant womans have mentioned on these boards and in other forums that they are not fond of chat lingo such as "It wood B so gr8 2 serve U Ma'am". In your first correspondence however, it might be better to assume that she won't appreciate it. If she responds to you using the lingo, then it's a good sign that it's fine. You might even want to ask her early on what her thoughts on it are.
Some dominant womans Like "W/we " and online protocol others detest it. A good rule of thumb is look at how their profile is written. If it contains it, use it, if not, don't!
10. Keep your messages short or parse them to avoid them being truncated.
If you have a very heavy message, chances are it might get truncated. You may want to keep the first message relatively short (especially if your profile mentions already a lot about you). But if you feel you have a lot to say, you might want to email a Part I and Part II (note that this might turn some dominant womans off). You might also want to add your other email address (yahoo, hotmail, etc) for further correspondences as the messages can run a little longer.
Every dominant woman is different but these guidelines should work with most and might help you find Your place without wasting each other's time. Good luck with Your search.
It is important that you also put a short paragraph about your vanilla interests. If it is a relationship you are seeking, chances are, you will be spending equal if not much more time outside the kink zone then in it. Deciding whether the ultimate date is going to see the ballet or a ballgame might be something you want to clear up ahead of time. Even if it is not a relationship that you are seeking, for most dominant womans, we appreciate knowing that there is more then a piece of flesh to you.
8. Avoid negativity.
The title says it all but here are a few basics to check for:
Don't put negative comments about other dominant womans in your message. You are addressing a dominant woman you wish to impress and she doesn't particularly care about the other dominant womans you've contacted.
Don't use a jaded tone. An eager (not overly eager) and positive tone is always appreciated.
Don't complain about how you have such a hard time finding the right dominant woman.
9. Revise for grammar & spelling.
When you are chatting, things can slip. Even little posts here or there. But when you are trying to put your best foot forward, isn't she worth a few extra minutes of double-checking? A message full of typos gives the impression of negligence and carelessness.
Also, many dominant womans have mentioned on these boards and in other forums that they are not fond of chat lingo such as "It wood B so gr8 2 serve U Ma'am". In your first correspondence however, it might be better to assume that she won't appreciate it. If she responds to you using the lingo, then it's a good sign that it's fine. You might even want to ask her early on what her thoughts on it are.
Some dominant womans Like "W/we " and online protocol others detest it. A good rule of thumb is look at how their profile is written. If it contains it, use it, if not, don't!
10. Keep your messages short or parse them to avoid them being truncated.
If you have a very heavy message, chances are it might get truncated. You may want to keep the first message relatively short (especially if your profile mentions already a lot about you). But if you feel you have a lot to say, you might want to email a Part I and Part II (note that this might turn some dominant womans off). You might also want to add your other email address (yahoo, hotmail, etc) for further correspondences as the messages can run a little longer.
Every dominant woman is different but these guidelines should work with most and might help you find Your place without wasting each other's time. Good luck with Your search.
10 Guidlines for a F/m Mistress
10 Simple Rules for a Wise Dominant
By Lady Jade
1. The submissive’s SAFETY will always be of top priority to a wise Dominant, both physically and emotionally.
2. ALWAYS respect and honor a submissive’s safe word and never put him or her in a position to be afraid to use it.
3. Just as submission is a gift to be treasured, Domination is a talent to be mastered so BE educated and experienced at dominating BEFORE you take on the responsibility of another’s life.
4. Don’t be too arrogant to be able to listen and understand your submissive’s viewpoints and needs. You might just learn something from them. After all communication is the foundation of a strong D/s relationship and can not be obtained if it is all one sided.
5. Never punish a submissive by withholding your affection, this is emotional blackmail.
6. Provide guidance and support when needed and stay tuned into your submissive’s moods. In return you will gain a submissive that is eager to please and serve you because they feel of value.
7. Provide your submissive with negotiated guidelines to stay with in and when the submissive steps out of those guidelines CONSISTENTLY apply punishment.
8. Understand that just as a submissive’s trust must be earned so must a Dominant earn a submissive’s trust. This does not undermine your control but strengthens it.
9. Enjoy and use what is offered to you with kindness, harshness, pain and pleasure and have the wisdom to know when to use each one.
10. Never be too full of pride or blinded by your own “power trip” to admit when you have made a mistake and to even say “I’m sorry”. Just as no submissive is perfect for their Dominant 24 hours a day; no Dominant is perfect either.
By Lady Jade
1. The submissive’s SAFETY will always be of top priority to a wise Dominant, both physically and emotionally.
2. ALWAYS respect and honor a submissive’s safe word and never put him or her in a position to be afraid to use it.
3. Just as submission is a gift to be treasured, Domination is a talent to be mastered so BE educated and experienced at dominating BEFORE you take on the responsibility of another’s life.
4. Don’t be too arrogant to be able to listen and understand your submissive’s viewpoints and needs. You might just learn something from them. After all communication is the foundation of a strong D/s relationship and can not be obtained if it is all one sided.
5. Never punish a submissive by withholding your affection, this is emotional blackmail.
6. Provide guidance and support when needed and stay tuned into your submissive’s moods. In return you will gain a submissive that is eager to please and serve you because they feel of value.
7. Provide your submissive with negotiated guidelines to stay with in and when the submissive steps out of those guidelines CONSISTENTLY apply punishment.
8. Understand that just as a submissive’s trust must be earned so must a Dominant earn a submissive’s trust. This does not undermine your control but strengthens it.
9. Enjoy and use what is offered to you with kindness, harshness, pain and pleasure and have the wisdom to know when to use each one.
10. Never be too full of pride or blinded by your own “power trip” to admit when you have made a mistake and to even say “I’m sorry”. Just as no submissive is perfect for their Dominant 24 hours a day; no Dominant is perfect either.
She Wants a Submissive Man Who Is Like a Good Dog (From an ancient Usenet posting.)
A Submissive Man Like a Pet
Years ago a dominant woman wrote:With D/s being such a new concept for me and with only my imagination to help me develop what that lifestyle could mean for me, lots and lots of thoughts have crossed my mind. As posted in my delurk, I’ve made a lot of major changes in my life over the past six months or so. I’ve begun dating but it’s not as much fun as I remember it being 15 years or so ago. That’s probably because of my higher standards in what I’m looking for in a partner; a submissive partner. So here’s a thought that occurred to me one afternoon while running my dogs at the nearby regional park. At this, the loneliest time of my life, my dogs are my truest companions. I was thinking that if I could find a submissive man with the traits that my dogs possess, and a few of the more obvious ones, of course , I’d be one happy camper! Think about it, they’re cute and cuddly, for starters. The 120 pound 15 month old Shep/Rott often sleeps with me and even though it’s a tight fit in a single bed, it’s comforting having a warm body there. If he’s not in my bed, he’s lying on the floor next to me or in the doorway. My other dog is a 12-year-old lab mix who is the most obedient and loyal dog you will ever know.
For the sake of good storytelling, I will combine their traits into one character.
He greets me in the morning by nuzzling my face and showing genuine enthusiasm for whatever attention I can muster at 4:30 AM. He watches intently as I get ready for work. He even asks for a little toothpaste to freshen his breath! His eyes express his complete sorrow at the realization that I’ll be gone for the day — again. I feed him, rub his ears, scratch his belly and give him fresh water before I leave for a grueling day at work. He sends me off with a lick on my hand and walks me to my car.
He’s always excited to see me at the end of the day. He greets me at the back gate with a hug and kiss (well, he jumps up on me and licks my face – close enough!). He nuzzles my hand as I walk through the back yard. He gets something for me to toss so we can play for a bit. We truly relish one another’s company. His devotion wipes away any stress I’ve endured through my workday. He never holds a grudge from a previous disagreement.
He lies at my feet while I check my e-mail and catch up on reading SSB. I reach down and rub his ears and pat his head. I find him so irresistible at times, that I lay on the floor next to him and just cuddle and rub his belly. He likes to be patted with a good amount of force on his lower back just at his tail. OK, he likes a good spanking, what’s wrong with that?!? He likes his nose rubbed and his ears massaged. He likes a fair amount of rough play and I’m eager to give him that.
He’ll do tricks for me when I offer a reward. He does tricks even when I don’t offer a reward. And he always eats my cooking without a single complaint!
I reward his loyalty and unconditional love with trips to a nearby wilderness area for an afternoon of running without his leash and collar. I toss the ball and he brings it back. I toss the ball again and again and again. He brings it back every time and nuzzles my hand as a sincere thank you for this time we have together.
He plays in the snow as I shovel. Sometimes he goes with me in the car when I run errands. Other times, I leave him tied up in the yard or locked in his kennel.
On occasion, this boy won’t do as he’s told so I must discipline him and although it’s difficult for me to hurt him either physically or verbally, I also understand that this is the only way for him to learn how to be a better dog. He chose to ignore my verbal commands yesterday at the park and was even bodacious enough to growl as I administered his discipline. His defiance though turned to sweet submission once he recognized I wouldn’t be frightened by his attempt at intimidation and he dutifully climbed into the back of the van.
At a recent visit to the vet, he misbehaved quite arrogantly and the vet sold me on a special collar to help keep him under control. The collar is designed in a figure-8 to apply pressure on the bridge of his nose and on his neck, right behind his ears. This pressure is similar to that applied by a pack leader to other members of the pack to demonstrate dominance. When I put this collar on him, I have a completely submissive animal under my complete, yet loving, control. It’s such a simple, yet effective tool.
He is by my side almost constantly when I am at home and he misses me terribly when I am away. He never fails to respond when I call his name either by coming to me or just wagging his tail. He’s sleeping next to me right now and as I call his name, his tail pounds on the floor with glee at that small bit of attention.
When I’m sad, he offers his big furry shoulder to cry on. He holds his paw out for me to hold. He licks my tear soaked face. He offers more comfort without ever uttering a single word than any human I’ve ever known. He barks at would-be trespassers and scares them off. I believe this boy would die for me.
In return for his unconditional love and devotion, I provide him with a safe environment to live and play in, all the food he can eat, special biscuit treats, fresh water, toys to play with, and I tend to his emotional and medical needs. I clean up the yard every week so he has a fresh place to make a mess . And I return his unconditional love and devotion without a moment’s hesitation.
Save for the obvious shortcomings, my dog is my perfect companion and possesses _most_ of the qualities I seek in a submissive partner. I hate when women say that men are dogs and mean it in a nasty context! I love men AND I love dogs! I plan to spend the rest of my life with them!
He greets me in the morning by nuzzling my face and showing genuine enthusiasm for whatever attention I can muster at 4:30 AM. He watches intently as I get ready for work. He even asks for a little toothpaste to freshen his breath! His eyes express his complete sorrow at the realization that I’ll be gone for the day — again. I feed him, rub his ears, scratch his belly and give him fresh water before I leave for a grueling day at work. He sends me off with a lick on my hand and walks me to my car.
He’s always excited to see me at the end of the day. He greets me at the back gate with a hug and kiss (well, he jumps up on me and licks my face – close enough!). He nuzzles my hand as I walk through the back yard. He gets something for me to toss so we can play for a bit. We truly relish one another’s company. His devotion wipes away any stress I’ve endured through my workday. He never holds a grudge from a previous disagreement.
He lies at my feet while I check my e-mail and catch up on reading SSB. I reach down and rub his ears and pat his head. I find him so irresistible at times, that I lay on the floor next to him and just cuddle and rub his belly. He likes to be patted with a good amount of force on his lower back just at his tail. OK, he likes a good spanking, what’s wrong with that?!? He likes his nose rubbed and his ears massaged. He likes a fair amount of rough play and I’m eager to give him that.
He’ll do tricks for me when I offer a reward. He does tricks even when I don’t offer a reward. And he always eats my cooking without a single complaint!
I reward his loyalty and unconditional love with trips to a nearby wilderness area for an afternoon of running without his leash and collar. I toss the ball and he brings it back. I toss the ball again and again and again. He brings it back every time and nuzzles my hand as a sincere thank you for this time we have together.
He plays in the snow as I shovel. Sometimes he goes with me in the car when I run errands. Other times, I leave him tied up in the yard or locked in his kennel.
On occasion, this boy won’t do as he’s told so I must discipline him and although it’s difficult for me to hurt him either physically or verbally, I also understand that this is the only way for him to learn how to be a better dog. He chose to ignore my verbal commands yesterday at the park and was even bodacious enough to growl as I administered his discipline. His defiance though turned to sweet submission once he recognized I wouldn’t be frightened by his attempt at intimidation and he dutifully climbed into the back of the van.
At a recent visit to the vet, he misbehaved quite arrogantly and the vet sold me on a special collar to help keep him under control. The collar is designed in a figure-8 to apply pressure on the bridge of his nose and on his neck, right behind his ears. This pressure is similar to that applied by a pack leader to other members of the pack to demonstrate dominance. When I put this collar on him, I have a completely submissive animal under my complete, yet loving, control. It’s such a simple, yet effective tool.
He is by my side almost constantly when I am at home and he misses me terribly when I am away. He never fails to respond when I call his name either by coming to me or just wagging his tail. He’s sleeping next to me right now and as I call his name, his tail pounds on the floor with glee at that small bit of attention.
When I’m sad, he offers his big furry shoulder to cry on. He holds his paw out for me to hold. He licks my tear soaked face. He offers more comfort without ever uttering a single word than any human I’ve ever known. He barks at would-be trespassers and scares them off. I believe this boy would die for me.
In return for his unconditional love and devotion, I provide him with a safe environment to live and play in, all the food he can eat, special biscuit treats, fresh water, toys to play with, and I tend to his emotional and medical needs. I clean up the yard every week so he has a fresh place to make a mess . And I return his unconditional love and devotion without a moment’s hesitation.
Save for the obvious shortcomings, my dog is my perfect companion and possesses _most_ of the qualities I seek in a submissive partner. I hate when women say that men are dogs and mean it in a nasty context! I love men AND I love dogs! I plan to spend the rest of my life with them!
Submissive Men Should Never Skip Chores
The submissive man’s handling of chores cuts two ways. Performing tasks is an important part of his servitude. His every act should ease his Mistress Owner’s life.
Regular performance of chores keeps the submissive male mindful of his status as servant. He duty to please his Mistress. It reinforce awareness of his inferior status.
Allowing a submissive man to skip his chores, postpone his tasks is no favor to him. The quality of his compliance to woman’s will stems from regularity.
If he is seriously ill or stressed, the pattern might be relaxed for a time. He can proceed to read the news or talk to friends when all his household work has been completed.
Regular performance of chores keeps the submissive male mindful of his status as servant. He duty to please his Mistress. It reinforce awareness of his inferior status.
Allowing a submissive man to skip his chores, postpone his tasks is no favor to him. The quality of his compliance to woman’s will stems from regularity.
If he is seriously ill or stressed, the pattern might be relaxed for a time. He can proceed to read the news or talk to friends when all his household work has been completed.
Submissive Males Should Wear Aprons
Aprons are for performing household chores and servants. Having your submissive husband or boyfriend wear an apron will help him be mindful of his role as a woman’s domestic servant.
And it keeps his unseemly genitals out of view.
Ideally of course submissive husbands should be nude except for their apron. You don’t want blows to his buttocks blunted. But pink panties will not interfere with his punishment and a little sissification will help keep him humble.
To heighten the submissive male’s humility his Mistress may invite her girlfriends to watch him perform his chores. While not strictly CFNM the hapless male will feel the same sense of humiliation.
And it keeps his unseemly genitals out of view.
Ideally of course submissive husbands should be nude except for their apron. You don’t want blows to his buttocks blunted. But pink panties will not interfere with his punishment and a little sissification will help keep him humble.
To heighten the submissive male’s humility his Mistress may invite her girlfriends to watch him perform his chores. While not strictly CFNM the hapless male will feel the same sense of humiliation.
Contract
This is not a work of fiction. I have had many people ask for details of the slave contract I use. Instead of having to explain it or send copies, I decided to just post it here. It is based on similar contracts that can easily be found online, but tweaked for personal preference. There is also an appendix of rules, but it’s far too long to post. I may consider posting portions of it in the future.
Feel free to send me questions if there’s anything about which you’d like further details.
Slave Contract
This contract is provided as a secure and binding agreement which defines in specific terms the relationship and interaction between two individuals, hereafter termed slave and Mistress.
Forward
This contract is meant to show that ______________has offered himself voluntarily as slave to _________________, and that She has accepted him and has thus become Mistress. This contract, and the Rules of Slavery in Appendix A, will remain binding and enforceable as long as both parties wish it, and neither party breach it, pursuant to the conditions herein detailed. From this point forward, __________________ shall be referred to as Mistress, and _____________ shall be referred to as slave.
slave’s Role
The slave agrees to submit to Mistress in all ways. There are no bounds of place, time or situation in which the slave may willfully refuse to obey the directive of Mistress without risk of punishment, except in situations where the slave’s veto applies. The slave also agrees that upon entering into the slave Contract, his body, mind and spirit belongs to Mistress, to be used as She sees fit, within the guidelines defined herein. The slave agrees to please Mistress to the best of his abilities, in that he now exists solely for the pleasure of Mistress.
The slave agrees to derive his pleasures from accepting his part in the relationship described and that slave will gladly accept the pleasures Mistress provides. Slave further agrees to confess his desires for Mistress’ consideration. Failing to do so, Mistress takes no responsibility in the consequences of slave’s failure to disclose desires, even if slave is unable to communicate his desires.
slave’s Veto
The slave, where appropriate, holds veto power over any command given by Mistress, at which time he may willfully refuse to obey said command. This power may only be invoked under the following circumstances or where agreed upon by both Mistress and slave:
Where said command conflicts with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest or prosecution of slave.
Where said command may cause extreme damage to slave’s life, such as causing family stress, etc.
Where said command may cause permanent bodily harm to slave.
Mistress’s Role
Mistress accepts the responsibility of the slave’s body, mind and spirit, to do with as She sees fit, under the provisions determined in this contract. Mistress agrees to care for slave, and to arrange for the safety and wellbeing of slave. Mistress accepts the commitment to treat slave properly, to train slave, to help slave grow within the D/s lifestyle, to punish slave, and to love slave.
Relationship
Slave will seek, during the enslavement term, to learn how to please Mistress better, and will gracefully accept any criticism in whatever form Mistress chooses. Subject to terms of this Contract and the appended Rules of Slavery, slave unconditionally accepts anything Mistress may choose to do with him, whether as punishment, for Mistress’s amusement or for whatever purpose. No matter how painful, unpleasant, or uncomfortable to slave.
Punishment
The slave agrees to accept any punishment Mistress decides is required. That such punishment shall be explained as to infraction committed, the timetable for punishment, and the lesson that said punishment will hopefully teach. Any refusal of slave to comply will be a breach of contract, except where the slave’s veto power applies.
Rules of Punishment
Punishment of slave is subject to certain rules designed to protect slave from intentional abuse or bodily harm. Punishment must not cause permanent bodily harm, or the following forms of abuse.
Feel free to send me questions if there’s anything about which you’d like further details.
Slave Contract
This contract is provided as a secure and binding agreement which defines in specific terms the relationship and interaction between two individuals, hereafter termed slave and Mistress.
Forward
This contract is meant to show that ______________has offered himself voluntarily as slave to _________________, and that She has accepted him and has thus become Mistress. This contract, and the Rules of Slavery in Appendix A, will remain binding and enforceable as long as both parties wish it, and neither party breach it, pursuant to the conditions herein detailed. From this point forward, __________________ shall be referred to as Mistress, and _____________ shall be referred to as slave.
slave’s Role
The slave agrees to submit to Mistress in all ways. There are no bounds of place, time or situation in which the slave may willfully refuse to obey the directive of Mistress without risk of punishment, except in situations where the slave’s veto applies. The slave also agrees that upon entering into the slave Contract, his body, mind and spirit belongs to Mistress, to be used as She sees fit, within the guidelines defined herein. The slave agrees to please Mistress to the best of his abilities, in that he now exists solely for the pleasure of Mistress.
The slave agrees to derive his pleasures from accepting his part in the relationship described and that slave will gladly accept the pleasures Mistress provides. Slave further agrees to confess his desires for Mistress’ consideration. Failing to do so, Mistress takes no responsibility in the consequences of slave’s failure to disclose desires, even if slave is unable to communicate his desires.
slave’s Veto
The slave, where appropriate, holds veto power over any command given by Mistress, at which time he may willfully refuse to obey said command. This power may only be invoked under the following circumstances or where agreed upon by both Mistress and slave:
Where said command conflicts with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest or prosecution of slave.
Where said command may cause extreme damage to slave’s life, such as causing family stress, etc.
Where said command may cause permanent bodily harm to slave.
Mistress’s Role
Mistress accepts the responsibility of the slave’s body, mind and spirit, to do with as She sees fit, under the provisions determined in this contract. Mistress agrees to care for slave, and to arrange for the safety and wellbeing of slave. Mistress accepts the commitment to treat slave properly, to train slave, to help slave grow within the D/s lifestyle, to punish slave, and to love slave.
Relationship
Slave will seek, during the enslavement term, to learn how to please Mistress better, and will gracefully accept any criticism in whatever form Mistress chooses. Subject to terms of this Contract and the appended Rules of Slavery, slave unconditionally accepts anything Mistress may choose to do with him, whether as punishment, for Mistress’s amusement or for whatever purpose. No matter how painful, unpleasant, or uncomfortable to slave.
Punishment
The slave agrees to accept any punishment Mistress decides is required. That such punishment shall be explained as to infraction committed, the timetable for punishment, and the lesson that said punishment will hopefully teach. Any refusal of slave to comply will be a breach of contract, except where the slave’s veto power applies.
Rules of Punishment
Punishment of slave is subject to certain rules designed to protect slave from intentional abuse or bodily harm. Punishment must not cause permanent bodily harm, or the following forms of abuse.
Punishment must stop immediately if:
The withholding of necessities including, but not limited to, food, water, bathroom privileges and sunlight for a period that endangers health in any way, shall be considered an abuse of slave and shall be grounds for breach of contract on slave’s behalf.
Permanent Bodily Harm
Because the body of slave now belongs to Mistress, it is Mistress’s responsibility to protect that body from permanent harm. Should slave ever come to permanent bodily harm during the course of punishment or any other D/s related activity, whether by intent or accident, it will be grounds for immediate termination of this contract, should slave so desire.
- The body is burned
- There is drastic loss of circulation
- Internal bleeding occurs
- There is loss of consciousness
The withholding of necessities including, but not limited to, food, water, bathroom privileges and sunlight for a period that endangers health in any way, shall be considered an abuse of slave and shall be grounds for breach of contract on slave’s behalf.
Permanent Bodily Harm
Because the body of slave now belongs to Mistress, it is Mistress’s responsibility to protect that body from permanent harm. Should slave ever come to permanent bodily harm during the course of punishment or any other D/s related activity, whether by intent or accident, it will be grounds for immediate termination of this contract, should slave so desire.
Permanent harm shall be determined as:
With the exception of a spouse, slave may not seek any other Mistress or lover, or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without Mistress’s permission, acceptance and approval. To do so, will be considered a breach of contract, and will result in extreme punishment. Mistress may accept other submissives’ or lovers, with slave’s acceptance, while keeping in mind slave’s emotional state. Under no circumstances should Mistress allow such action to result in ignoring slave. Mistress will always show slave preferential treatment with regard to other submissives’ and slaves, keeping him always as “first slave.” Mistress may give slave to other Dominants, providing the situation has been discussed and the terms of this contract understood and observed. Any breach of this contract by the Dominant, will be seen as a breach by Mistress, and will be subject to all rules and conditions of this contract.
Rewards/Play
Rewards and play will be awarded when slave has been good and deserving, provided it does not unreasonable tax Mistress’s time or energy. If play is desired by the slave, but not offered by Mistress, slave may request play in a respectful form according to his training. It is to be assumed that regular and consistent play is conducive to slave’s health and wellbeing, and as such shall not be withheld without good reason. The introduction of new styles and instruments into play will be discussed at length. This discussion is to be completed prior to play so as to be most comfortably accepted by slave. Mistress’s play with other submissives or slaves shall be discussed with slave prior to commencement according to “Others” paragraph.
When possible, slave’s inclusion will be considered, even if only as an implement or accompaniment. Said inclusion to best insure the continued harmony within the relationship, and the proper balance of slave’s mental state.
Secrecy
All physical evidence of this slavery will be kept in total secrecy with regards to contacts outside of the D/s lifestyle, except where both Mistress and slave agree. Any violations of this clause shall be cause to terminate this contract, should the injured party wish. All sensitive materials and physical evidence shall be kept under lock and key in a place acceptable to both parties.
Details of this contract and relationship may only be shared by slave with others in the lifestyle at the express permission of Mistress. Mistress may share details within the lifestyle as she chooses, including the posting of photos online, but not to the detriment of slave’s life outside of the relationship. Details and photos will not include personally identifying information and/or features.
Alterations of Contract
This contract may not be altered, except when both parties agree. If the contract is altered, the new contract must be printed and signed, then the old contract destroyed to maintain the continuity of said relationship.
Termination of Contract
Mistress may terminate this contract at any time with cause. slave can petition Mistress for release with good cause after three (3) requests for redress of grievances have gone unanswered in a ten (10) day period. Upon termination, all physical evidence of the relationship shall be destroyed, except where mementos may be kept by agreement between Mistress and slave. Upon destruction of this document, slave resumes full possession of his body, mind and spirit.
slave’s Signature
I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to give myself to Mistress, and fully accept Her claim of ownership over my body, mind and soul. I understand that I will be commanded, trained and punished as a slave, and I promise to be true and to fulfill the pleasures and desires of Mistress to the best of my ability. I understand that I cannot withdraw from this contract except as stated herein.
Signature:
Date:
Mistress’s Signature
I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this slave as my property; mind, body and spirit, and to care for him to the best of my ability. I shall provide for his security and wellbeing and command him and punish him as a slave. I accept the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to him as long as he is mine. I further accept the responsibility of seeing to his training, to see to it he grows in the community and becomes a credit to the community. Said training to include an understanding of the “Old Guard” protocols, but with an eye to the current style of “safe, sane and consensual” D/s living. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time.
Signature:
Date:
- Any damage that involves loss of mobility or function, including broken bones.
- Any permanent marks on the skin, including scars, burns, tattoos, unless accepted in advance by slave.
- Any piercing of the flesh, unless accepted in advance by slave.
- Any attempt at sexual intercourse, without the use of a condom, except by prior agreement of both Mistress and slave.
- Any diseases that could result in any of the above, including sexually transmitted disease.
With the exception of a spouse, slave may not seek any other Mistress or lover, or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without Mistress’s permission, acceptance and approval. To do so, will be considered a breach of contract, and will result in extreme punishment. Mistress may accept other submissives’ or lovers, with slave’s acceptance, while keeping in mind slave’s emotional state. Under no circumstances should Mistress allow such action to result in ignoring slave. Mistress will always show slave preferential treatment with regard to other submissives’ and slaves, keeping him always as “first slave.” Mistress may give slave to other Dominants, providing the situation has been discussed and the terms of this contract understood and observed. Any breach of this contract by the Dominant, will be seen as a breach by Mistress, and will be subject to all rules and conditions of this contract.
Rewards/Play
Rewards and play will be awarded when slave has been good and deserving, provided it does not unreasonable tax Mistress’s time or energy. If play is desired by the slave, but not offered by Mistress, slave may request play in a respectful form according to his training. It is to be assumed that regular and consistent play is conducive to slave’s health and wellbeing, and as such shall not be withheld without good reason. The introduction of new styles and instruments into play will be discussed at length. This discussion is to be completed prior to play so as to be most comfortably accepted by slave. Mistress’s play with other submissives or slaves shall be discussed with slave prior to commencement according to “Others” paragraph.
When possible, slave’s inclusion will be considered, even if only as an implement or accompaniment. Said inclusion to best insure the continued harmony within the relationship, and the proper balance of slave’s mental state.
Secrecy
All physical evidence of this slavery will be kept in total secrecy with regards to contacts outside of the D/s lifestyle, except where both Mistress and slave agree. Any violations of this clause shall be cause to terminate this contract, should the injured party wish. All sensitive materials and physical evidence shall be kept under lock and key in a place acceptable to both parties.
Details of this contract and relationship may only be shared by slave with others in the lifestyle at the express permission of Mistress. Mistress may share details within the lifestyle as she chooses, including the posting of photos online, but not to the detriment of slave’s life outside of the relationship. Details and photos will not include personally identifying information and/or features.
Alterations of Contract
This contract may not be altered, except when both parties agree. If the contract is altered, the new contract must be printed and signed, then the old contract destroyed to maintain the continuity of said relationship.
Termination of Contract
Mistress may terminate this contract at any time with cause. slave can petition Mistress for release with good cause after three (3) requests for redress of grievances have gone unanswered in a ten (10) day period. Upon termination, all physical evidence of the relationship shall be destroyed, except where mementos may be kept by agreement between Mistress and slave. Upon destruction of this document, slave resumes full possession of his body, mind and spirit.
slave’s Signature
I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to give myself to Mistress, and fully accept Her claim of ownership over my body, mind and soul. I understand that I will be commanded, trained and punished as a slave, and I promise to be true and to fulfill the pleasures and desires of Mistress to the best of my ability. I understand that I cannot withdraw from this contract except as stated herein.
Signature:
Date:
Mistress’s Signature
I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this slave as my property; mind, body and spirit, and to care for him to the best of my ability. I shall provide for his security and wellbeing and command him and punish him as a slave. I accept the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to him as long as he is mine. I further accept the responsibility of seeing to his training, to see to it he grows in the community and becomes a credit to the community. Said training to include an understanding of the “Old Guard” protocols, but with an eye to the current style of “safe, sane and consensual” D/s living. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time.
Signature:
Date:
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