Lets take a step back for a moment and take a look at what a submissive male actually is. Not all men are meant to be submissive, however, there are many that either, know they are, or are curious about it. There are also many, that if exposed to the idea of submission, would be curious to explore it as it calls to them deep within. The reason we don’t see too many openly submissive males in society is because there is a very big taboo against them that instantly makes them feel like it’s wrong to express that they have submissive desires with their partners. Often, the moment they do, their partner gets the wrong idea, they can jump to many different conclusions that may or may not be true, but they shut it down before discovering what it really means.
One of those conclusions, is that he is gay or weak, and wants to wear women’s clothes and be a sissy. This is a very common mindset that many men and women automatically have, when it has nothing to do with being gay, and quite possibly nothing to do with wearing women’s clothes or being a sissy. First of all, there is a big misunderstanding about whats makes a person gay, and what doesn’t. Being gay, has only 1 trait, and only 1, and that is, if they are attracted to, and want a relationship with the same sex and not the opposite sex. That’s it. Everything else, including a male wanting to engage in anal play, is not gay, wearing women’s clothes, is not gay. Yes, its different, might seem a little strange to those who have never explored sexuality, but it’s not gay. So drop that idea right now.
Second, the idea that submission is weak is also wrong. For a male to admit that he has submissive tendencies, and who chooses to put her desires before his own, is far from weak. Weak is rapists and those who lack self control. A submissive man must be strong in order to submit, he must give up control to someone else, and that takes bravery and courage, and if he is accepted by his partner, it greatly enhances intimacy and allows him to actually be more of the man he is, because he can finally express himself the way he naturally is. That takes strength.
Third, not all submissive males, are into wearing women’s clothes, and prefer to remain masculine. Yes, there are some submissive men that do desire to wear women’s clothes, and instead of judging them, ask them why they want to, ask them what it is that draws them to it. They do it because they want to explore their feminine side, they are curious about women, and they want to understand them, and by wearing her clothes, he can get an idea of what it’s like, it generates understanding for him. He may also enjoy wearing women’s clothes because they can be incredibly comfy compared to male clothes, different materials, skin hugging, can stimulate his libido, which makes him feel more in touch with his body, which is where that understanding comes from. It brings him in touch with his feminine side, and as a result, he learns more, and gets to take a break from uncomfortable masculine clothes that really don’t promote getting in touch with his body.
It’s important to understand the submissive nature that some males have. It is not something that they have control over. They can suppress it yes, but it is still a need that they will always want to fulfill with their partner. For many men in relationships where their partner is not open to it, they resign themselves to a mediocre sex life with a constant longing for more. It is a part of who he is, at his core, it’s not something that he can just forget about. Which is why it is so essential for his partner to at least be open to exploring it a little bit, than to shut it down without another word, based on opinions and judgements that society has instilled. When a partner opens up to this core need of his, the relationship flows smoother and both partners become happier as a result, as it greatly enhances their sex lives, in ways they may not have imagined, as the idea of D/s evolves by personal touch over time.
There are many different types of submissive males, which can range from rather mild, to rather extreme. However, if his partner understands that his core need is to submit, she soon discovers, that she can control how mild or how extreme things will get, and when that is realized, the true potential, and realization of what D/s is all about emerges. When sexuality is explored like this in a D/s relationship, there is a great sense of freedom, a sort of liberation, that can come from no where else. The ability to express submission, or domination, enables both partners to explore their desire, rather than conquer it, and that brings fulfillment and intimacy, and connection, as mentioned in previous lessons.
So ladies, when your partner suggests to you that he is submissive, at least, let him explain himself, and perhaps entertain the idea until you decide if you like it or not. Ask questions! Even if you find that it’s not for you, he will very much appreciate your efforts, and that alone will help the whole relationship, as communication is open, and there are no secret desires hiding in the background. Sometimes we just have to push beyond the opinions and views society wants us to have, and discover our own. Submissive males, just dream of women open enough to at least listen.
One of those conclusions, is that he is gay or weak, and wants to wear women’s clothes and be a sissy. This is a very common mindset that many men and women automatically have, when it has nothing to do with being gay, and quite possibly nothing to do with wearing women’s clothes or being a sissy. First of all, there is a big misunderstanding about whats makes a person gay, and what doesn’t. Being gay, has only 1 trait, and only 1, and that is, if they are attracted to, and want a relationship with the same sex and not the opposite sex. That’s it. Everything else, including a male wanting to engage in anal play, is not gay, wearing women’s clothes, is not gay. Yes, its different, might seem a little strange to those who have never explored sexuality, but it’s not gay. So drop that idea right now.
Second, the idea that submission is weak is also wrong. For a male to admit that he has submissive tendencies, and who chooses to put her desires before his own, is far from weak. Weak is rapists and those who lack self control. A submissive man must be strong in order to submit, he must give up control to someone else, and that takes bravery and courage, and if he is accepted by his partner, it greatly enhances intimacy and allows him to actually be more of the man he is, because he can finally express himself the way he naturally is. That takes strength.
Third, not all submissive males, are into wearing women’s clothes, and prefer to remain masculine. Yes, there are some submissive men that do desire to wear women’s clothes, and instead of judging them, ask them why they want to, ask them what it is that draws them to it. They do it because they want to explore their feminine side, they are curious about women, and they want to understand them, and by wearing her clothes, he can get an idea of what it’s like, it generates understanding for him. He may also enjoy wearing women’s clothes because they can be incredibly comfy compared to male clothes, different materials, skin hugging, can stimulate his libido, which makes him feel more in touch with his body, which is where that understanding comes from. It brings him in touch with his feminine side, and as a result, he learns more, and gets to take a break from uncomfortable masculine clothes that really don’t promote getting in touch with his body.
It’s important to understand the submissive nature that some males have. It is not something that they have control over. They can suppress it yes, but it is still a need that they will always want to fulfill with their partner. For many men in relationships where their partner is not open to it, they resign themselves to a mediocre sex life with a constant longing for more. It is a part of who he is, at his core, it’s not something that he can just forget about. Which is why it is so essential for his partner to at least be open to exploring it a little bit, than to shut it down without another word, based on opinions and judgements that society has instilled. When a partner opens up to this core need of his, the relationship flows smoother and both partners become happier as a result, as it greatly enhances their sex lives, in ways they may not have imagined, as the idea of D/s evolves by personal touch over time.
There are many different types of submissive males, which can range from rather mild, to rather extreme. However, if his partner understands that his core need is to submit, she soon discovers, that she can control how mild or how extreme things will get, and when that is realized, the true potential, and realization of what D/s is all about emerges. When sexuality is explored like this in a D/s relationship, there is a great sense of freedom, a sort of liberation, that can come from no where else. The ability to express submission, or domination, enables both partners to explore their desire, rather than conquer it, and that brings fulfillment and intimacy, and connection, as mentioned in previous lessons.
So ladies, when your partner suggests to you that he is submissive, at least, let him explain himself, and perhaps entertain the idea until you decide if you like it or not. Ask questions! Even if you find that it’s not for you, he will very much appreciate your efforts, and that alone will help the whole relationship, as communication is open, and there are no secret desires hiding in the background. Sometimes we just have to push beyond the opinions and views society wants us to have, and discover our own. Submissive males, just dream of women open enough to at least listen.
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